


Yuuri!!! On Ice: Dreaming With You (Victor x Yuuri)

by IceCapades



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bottom Victor Nikiforov, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Angst and Smut, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, Surprise bottom, Top Katsuki Yuuri, VictUuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-13 02:16:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9101989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceCapades/pseuds/IceCapades
Summary: Yuuri's SoulDreams have always been few and far between. Sometimes he wondered if he even had a soulmate. But when his idol, Victor Nikiforov comes to Japan to be his coach, the dreams come almost every night. Is his time to meet his soulmate finally at hand?





	1. Chapter 1

In his dream, Yuuri was flying.

Not like a bird or anything. He was in a plane. A big plane, one of those planes you flew in when you were flying to another country, with screens in the backs of the seats. He’d been in plenty of planes like this, but never in first class. Never in this kind of luxury. He could feel the reclining seat hugging him, not like the hard seats in the economy class that always made his back ache after a few hours of sitting still. He could sleep in these seats, if he wasn’t already asleep. Slippers hugged his feet and even the blanket was softer than the one they gave you in economy class. The pillow was fluffier. There was champagne on his tray table. It was at this moment that Yuuri knew he wasn’t in an ordinary dream.

He was in a SoulDream. It didn’t change things that he knew this. This was how it worked. He usually figured it out pretty quickly, but it was impossible to control a SoulDream. These sort of dreams just happened, whether or not you were aware of them. He could always tell because they felt more real that regular dreams. It was like regular dreams were experienced through a blanket, while SoulDreams were felt when you were turned on, when your skin was at its most sensitive, all your nerves fired up. Everything good felt even more amazing, and everything bad felt worse. He could act and react in the Dream, but he couldn’t force things to happen. He couldn’t see things that didn’t want to be seen. He couldn’t say things that didn’t want to be said.

Yuuri stretched in his seat and rolled to his side, his hands brushing another person’s. His heart raced with joy. Was this his soulmate in the seat next to his? It must be. His soulmate was always nearby when he was in a SoulDream, not that it happened very often. His eyes fluttered open and he hoped, just once, that he would see his soulmate’s face.

The person in front of him was blurry, like he was seeing them through a veil of gauze, or shadow. It was one of the only things that didn’t show up sharp and clear in SoulDreams. But still, he could somehow tell, maybe feel, that the person was smiling. He smiled back. This was normal. It was always there. He could never see his soulmate’s face. Never hear his soulmate’s voice. It was how these things went, and it happened for a lot of people. His soulmate’s hand gripped his, and he gripped it back, his entire body tingling with warmth and excitement, and that was enough, to just lay there and feel the connection, feel the closeness.

 

When Yuuri woke up, he curled into a warm ball and smiled to himself. That was the first SoulDream he’d had in a while. He’d been beginning to miss them. He’d been so despondent since he’d lost so miserably in the Grand Prix Finals. So depressed that he’d screwed up other big competitions and was back home to contemplate what to do with his sad, miserable life and career. The Dream was the first happy thing that had happened to him in months. It was still dark, and the house was quiet. He rolled over and went back to sleep. This time, he didn’t dream at all.

 

“Yuuri, wake up!” His mom called knocking on his door. “Come help shovel snow!”

“Huh? Snow?” That was an odd thing for hers to say. It was April. He peeked outside to see snow piling up on the delicate cherry blossoms outside his window. He sighed. The snow had made the blossoms even more beautiful, even if it would ruin them in the process. When the snow melted, the blossoms would fall with it.

“Why didn’t I get an alert?” He asked the snow. He picked up his phone, but it was off. “Oh, right, I didn’t want to get any calls.” He thought about that embarrassing video of himself skating to his idol’s routine the triplets had uploaded and he blushed. Hopefully they’d pulled it like Yuuko said they would. He threw his phone back on the bed. He still didn’t want to see what sort of alerts and calls he’d gotten while he was asleep. That would be future Yuuri’s problem.

He put on a hat, his coat and some warm pants and boots and trudged down the stairs. Shoveling snow hadn’t exactly been on his list of things to do for the day, but it was good exercise, at least. It would get Minako off his ass about losing weight and getting his figure skating body back.

When he slid the front door to the onsen open, there was a brown poodle sitting in the snow, tail wagging, barking excitedly. “Vicchan?” He asked as the poodle jumped onto his chest, happy barks as it licked his face. “No, you’re far too big to be Vicchan,” he laughed.

“Looks just like Vicchan, doesn’t he?” Yuuri’s dad asked, walking by.

“Where did he come from?” Yuuri asked.

“He came with this really good looking foreign guest, he’s taking a bath right now,” his dad said.

Yuuri gasped. He’d seen this dog before, hadn’t he? Scrambling to his feet, he knocked over a table, rushing to the baths, forgetting about the snow, forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to just run in, fully clothed, past people who were trying to enjoy the onsen without some rude, unruly guy pushing past them. But he had to see. He had to know. Was this the dog he thought it was? And if so, then the owner…

He stumbled into the outdoor bath and saw _him_. The man he’d idolized, a figure skating god, all chiseled muscle, his silver hair and sparkling blue eyes, that confident smile on his face. Victor Nikiforov. “Yuuri!” Victor exclaimed. Yuuri couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. What was Victor doing here? Victor from Russia. Why? Why was he here?

“Starting from today, I’m going to be your coach! With my help, you’re going to make it to the Grand Prix Final. And you’re going to win,” he said, winking.

Yuuri thought he was going to have a heart attack.

 

Victor was way too forward, but that was how someone that oozed confidence out of every pore was, wasn’t it? He touched Yuuri’s hands, always tried to pull him close, was always in his personal space. “I want to know everything about you, Yuuri. Do you have a soulmate?” Victor asked him, fingers lifting his chin. This close, Yuuri could almost taste him, and the way his heart beat faster, the way his cheeks reddened, that scared him. He had this fear that he wouldn’t be able to control himself around Victor. Old, suppressed feelings threatened to well up inside him and he mercilessly shoved them down. His biggest worry was that he would accidentally betray his soulmate, a person he didn’t even know. Well, not really. They’d never met. He didn’t even know who his soulmate was. He’d had his suspicions at one time, but he’d been wrong. He knew that if he did betray that person, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

He pulled away. “Yes, I do have a soulmate, actually,” Yuuri said.

“Oh!” Victor exclaimed. “What’s your soulmate like?”

Yuuri looked away. He didn’t really like talking about soulmates, especially with people he barely knew. His parents and sister were okay, but he felt uncomfortable talking about it with anyone that wasn’t family, and he especially didn’t want to talk about it with Victor of all people. But he knew his mentor wouldn’t leave him alone unless he answered, “I haven’t actually met my soulmate yet.”

“Oh,” Victor said, this time the sound was sadder, regretful. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked, then.

“It will happen sooner or later, right?” Yuuri laughed. “It always does. I just have to be patient and let it happen. Like you did.”

Victor gave him a shining smile, like the one he gave the press, not like the one Yuuri had seen when it was just the two of them. It was fake, and there was something behind it like there was something more that he wanted to say, but didn’t. Yuuri didn’t question it, though. He was probably reading into things too much anyway. “Yeah, like I did,” Victor said, changing the subject, “You still have ten more pounds to lose, little piggy. Enough chitchat.”

 

The SoulDreams were much more frequent now. Yuuri didn’t know why. Why now? When he was so close to his idol but all he could think about was holding hands with some shrouded figure as they walked beneath the cherry blossoms, or rode the Ferris wheel, or shared a warm bath, all roaming hands and soft mouths. He blushed at this last one. It hadn’t been his intention to have a sexy dream. He’ been able to wake up before it went too far. No, he wanted his first time with his soulmate to be in person. Not in some fumbly Dream, no matter how good it felt. He wanted to see his soulmate. He wanted to hear his soulmate. Sex in a hot bath sounded fun and all, but maybe once he knew the person’s name.

And Victor was so close, so touchy, those smiles, the way he skated, it made Yuuri want to do things that he hadn’t thought about before, at least, not with anyone other than his soulmate, not anywhere other than in dreams. And the more he Dreamed with his soulmate, the more his body yearned for physical touch. The more he denied it, the more he wanted it. He felt frustrated that the Dreams had come with Victor. That he couldn’t entertain any sort of fantasy with Victor—even if it was just in his in his mind—without feeling the guilt of betraying his soulmate.

“Mom,” Yuuri said as he helped her in the kitchen, washing the pots and pans.

“Hmm?” She asked as she stirred the curry.

“Why do you think it is that the Dreams are coming now? All the sudden like this?”

“Your Dreams have always come in weird spurts,” his mom responded. “Your father and I always suspected that you and your soulmate lived in completely different time zones, different countries, so you probably only had dreams either when one of you was napping or traveling. It made sense when you were traveling for skating a lot, that your sleep schedules would periodically overlap. That’s just how these things work sometimes.”

Yuuri had heard this all before. He’d thought about this before. It didn’t make sense when he got the dreams when he wasn’t traveling though. Especially now, and for so many nights in a row. Unless…”Do you think my soulmate is here in Japan right now?” He asked. Did his soulmate travel as much as he did? His heart soared at the thought. His soulmate could be close. Their time to meet could finally be upon him.

“It’s possible,” his mom said, shrugging. “Your soulmate could also be in China, it’s only an hour difference. Just because your SoulDreams are connecting doesn’t mean that you are in the same country.”

“Thanks for the optimism, mom,” Yuuri sighed, trying not to let her words get him down. He had to have at least some hope, right? Twenty three years of waiting. Had his time finally come?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins. :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!
> 
> We're going back in time for this chapter. Let's see what Yuuri's childhood was like in this AU!
> 
> When I was editing this chapter, I realized I should probably do a slight bit of foreshadowing in Chapter One so that it flows into Chapter Two a little better. I went back and changed a few things, but it's fairly subtle.

“You can do it, Yuuri!” Yuuko cheered as Yuuri landed a double axel, leaning over the rink-boards as she watched him skate. Yuuri and their other rinkmate, Nishigori, liked to tease her sometimes, calling her the Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu. She was thirteen now though, and starting to mature into a woman, growing into that childhood nickname. She was two years Yuuri’s senior and taller than both of the boys now, if only barely, but she liked to brag about it. Yuuko was Yuuri’s biggest fan, always cheering the loudest for him, even louder than his parents did. Whenever she was watching him, it made him feel more confident; she made his fears and worries and anxieties more manageable.

Yuuri had often entertained he fantasy that Yuuko was his soulmate. She was always so nice to him. Always there to encourage him. But when she told him about her SoulDreams, he knew that it wasn’t her. She Dreamed all the time, and he didn’t. When a person had a SoulDream, it was always two people who made the dream. No matter where they were, as long as they were both asleep, they could Dream. But not Yuuri. There were times he thought he had. He’d awoken with strange fragments of something still in his head, but they were corporeal and hazy. Maybe his mind was just so worried, just so anxious, so afraid that he would never have a soulmate, that it filled things in, made him think he was Dreaming. It wasn’t uncommon for that to happen with people who, for some reason, didn’t have soulmates. This was most likely if something happened to their soulmate before they could find each other. You only got one, and he’d heard of cases where, if you were unlucky, you didn’t get one at all. He figured it was just his rotten luck that he wouldn’t have one.

“Is that all you’ve got, fatso?” Nishigori yelled from the other side of the rink, using the nickname that he was always so fond of. He skated over, stopping short of Yuuri, turning his skates to spray other boy with ice. The look he gave Yuuri was one of challenge.

In his youth, Yuuri had often been intimidated by Nishigori, but as time had passed, Yuuri had proven to be the better skater, his patience for practice allowing him to surpass Nishigori’s innate skill. It was something Nishigori still hadn’t accepted, especially when Yuuko cheered for Yuuri instead of him. When they were younger, Nishigori pushed Yuuri around a lot, much to Yuuko’s disapproval. He’d always been bigger, and while he hadn’t been particularly mean or anything, whenever Yuuri was close to Yuuko or getting more attention from her, he always seemed to get strangely possessive.

“Do you really want to lose to me again?” Yuuri laughed, hoping he sounded confident.

Nishigori scowled and stomped off the ice, making his way to the lobby to take off his skates.

“Do you want to hear about the Dream I had last night?” Yuuko asked as Yuuri stepped off the ice and they followed behind Nishigori.

“Please, no,” Yuuri said as she giggled. She knew he didn’t like it, but she teased him anyway. Yuuri often wished that Yuuko was like the other people in Japan. Most people in Japan didn’t talk about their Dreams, at least, not publicly. That was something you might talk about with family sometimes, but most of the people in his country thought that Dreams were meant to be shared with your soulmate and no one else. Yuuri knew that some countries and cultures ignored the Dreams, said they were evil magic. Said they were useless. And other countries like America, had SoulDreams so ingrained intotheir culture that it was nearly impossible to escape talk about them. They even had a special holiday for it. If Japan had a romantic view of SoulDreams, America had a rabid obsession with them. Yuuko didn’t seem to let Japan’s taboos bother her, though, and she often shared her dreams with Yuuri. She was just that comfortable with him. He didn’t ever see her sharing them with anyone else.

“Maybe he wants to hear about mine. My SoulDream was so weird last night,” Nishigori said as they sat down on the bench next to his. The boy knew how uncomfortable talking about SoulDreams made Yuuri and he also knew Yuuri didn’t get them, something that seemed to give him satisfaction. Nishigori usually respected the Japanese taboos and never spoke about his dreams, but he suspected this time that Nishigori wanted to get a rise out of him after their confrontation on the ice. He balled his hands into fists and looked down, trying not to show the anger reddening his face.

Yuuri wanted to run out the door, but he was still wearing his skates. He couldn’t just walk out. He undid the laces on his skates as quickly as possible, but not fast enough. “I was walking through a garden full of giant flowers, past this huge temple, and it was all sorts of colors, like blues and purples and oranges. I’ve never seen anything like it. It was so pretty,” Nishigori said. Yuuri heard Yuuko gasp and he looked over at her. Her hand was over her mouth and her cheeks were red. Nishigori’s eyes were closed like he was trying to see the Dream again in his mind, and didn’t seem to notice her reaction. He continued his story, “And the cherry blossoms were blooming all around us, big and fat and pretty. They smelled so amazing. And I held her hand as we walked, and the sun was so warm and her hand was so soft, and then there was this song,” he continued, “It started off really high, and I thought it was a bird—“

“But it was a flute,” Yuuko squeaked, her voice choked, her eyes shining and wet.

Nishigori opened his eyes and turned to look at her, “Yeah, how did you know?”

“And the flute was joined by a harp,” Yuuko breathed.

Nishigori’s eyes widened and Yuuri felt like he was going to be sick. No, this could not be happening. Not right now, not in front of him, not like this. His best friend and this guy who’d grown up thinking it was funny to push him over just to see him fall on the ice. Yuuko stood up, and walked over to him. Nishigori climbed to his feet and looked dumbly at her. She held out her hands and Nishigori took them. They stared down at their clasped hands, then looked up, huge smiles on their faces.

“It was you all along,” Yuuko said, tears making their way down her cheeks.

“I—I guess so!” Nishigori laughed. Yuuri thought it sounded like he was relieved.

Yuuri wanted to shake Yuuko, to tell her she was mistaken, tell her that there was no possible way that Nishigori could be her soulmate. But it made sense, his strange possessiveness, the way he was always showing off for Yuuko. It made sense that everyone would be happy except for him.

Yuuri needed to get out of there. This was not something he needed to witness. He shoved his skates into his bag and left. They didn’t even notice he’d gone.

 

“Yuuri, where have you been?” Yuuko asked as he laced his skates. He hadn’t seen her in over a week.

“Sorry, was practicing extra with Minako for a few days, she wanted to show me something new.” Not all true, but good enough. The full truth was that he had seen soulmates meet before, and he didn’t want to be around that again. When his sister had met her soulmate, the two of them had been unbearable. He had enough of that to last a lifetime. On top of that, lovey dovey new couples were always coming to the onsen to celebrate their meeting, and they were always the loudest. It made Yuuri happy that his room was tucked away well out of earshot of the guest rooms.

“I missed you,” she said, smiling at him and hugging him like she always did. Yuuri wondered if possessive Nishigori was lurking around the corner.

“I missed you too,” he said, and he meant it, even if he couldn’t meet her smile with one of his own when they pulled away.

“Good, now let’s see what Minako taught you” she said, pulling him to the rink, her eyes shining. How was it even possible for her to be so happy?

 

Things didn’t change like Yuuri thought they would. Nishigori actually softened towards him, which was surprising. He didn’t tease Yuuri as much and he seemed less possessive, less like he always waned to challenge Yuuri for Yuuko’s attention. Yuuko was his soulmate, and he knew that Yuuri wouldn’t challenge that. How lucky those two were, barely even teenagers and they’d already found each other. Meanwhile, Yuuri’d been having a few dreams of his own. It had been so long since he’d had a SoulDream that he couldn’t tell if he was Dreaming or just dreaming. But even though he’d only had a couple short ones, they were so intense and felt _so_ real. It must be his soulmate, right? These had to be Dreams. Real SoulDreams. He wished he could talk about them with someone. His mom and sister were tired of hearing him whine, and he knew Yuuko would listen, but some deep seated fear made him keep his mouth shut. What if he was just wrong about what he’d been feeling? What if they weren’t Dreams?

“He’s starting!” Yuuko exclaimed as they sat in front of the TV in the lobby. There was always something sports-related on. Today, it was a recap of the Junior World Championships in Bulgaria, and someone was skating their program. The man had the bluest eyes Yuuri had ever seen and long, silver hair tied into a ponytail. He was clad in a black, sparkly skin-tight costume that showed off his every feature. Yuuri noticed how beautiful the skater was as he glided on the ice, effortlessly jumping, his landings more than perfect. They were exquisite.

“Who is he?” Yuuri asked, his eyes wide, his heart pounding in his chest. He tried not to let on to the others how warm he felt, tried to ignore the goosebumps on his arms.

“That’s Russia’s Victor Nikiforov. He won the gold in the Junior Worlds with the highest score in history! He’s so cool!” Yuuko said, not taking her eyes off the TV. None of them could. Victor was too enthralling.

“Wow,” was all Yuuri could say as his mouth hung open, as Victor swirled around the ice, his long ponytail spinning, the music coming alive as he skated. That music. It was so hauntingly familiar. Like he’d heard it before. It made him feel happier than any music ever had. At that moment, he wanted to skate to it. He felt like he had to.

“Someday, I’m going to be like him,” Yuuri declared after Victor had left the ice.

Nishigori eyed him then laughed, “You, fatso?”

Yuuko lightly slapped the top of his head, “Stop that,” she scolded. “Yuuri, I think that’s a wonderful goal, and you’re pretty good with the jumps and spins you already know. I can help you practice. Maybe we can try to learn his routine. It looks hard, but how cool would it be if you could skate that?”

“Yeah, that would be so amazing!” He pulled off his shoes and dug his skates out of his bag, itching to get onto the ice. He felt like he needed to be out there, needed to be skating right that very minute, and he didn’t know why.

“Right now?” Yuuko laughed as he left the room. Nishigori huffed and told Yuuko to just let him go.

Yuuri was happy for the space. He didn’t want Yuuko to follow him. What he needed was to be on the ice. When his skates met the ice, he felt like he was somewhere else, where a crowd was cheering for him, his pulse racing. Yuuri shook his head and focused on the real world, not silly daydreams.

He skated, the music in his head. He couldn’t do Victor’s exact performance. He was nowhere near that good. He was a beginner compared to Victor, but he could pretend. He spun and jumped, forgetting the exact moves that Victor had done. He hadn’t been paying attention to the footwork or the jumps, not close enough. He’d been too busy looking at Victor’s face, memorizing his features, watching his hair, entranced by his body and the way it moved.

For the first time, he really believed that he had a soulmate out there somewhere. The dreams he’d been having, they were Dreams. He knew it. And what if it was Victor Nikiforov that he saw in the shadows of his SoulDreams? It made perfect sense. Victor was traveling for competition, and his sleep schedule was probably messed up. Naps on the plane or before competitions, going to bed early, any number of things could contribute to the handful of Dreams he’d had in the past week. And the music. He’d heard that music before, in a _Dream_. That beautiful man on the ice, that could be his soulmate. He had no real proof; he’d never met the man before, but he felt it in his heart. From the moment the music started and Victor started to skate, he’d been completely enthralled.

Yuuri attempted a double toe loop and fell, the ice cold beneath him as he hit his knee and elbow. His soulmate was Russian. No wonder they’d barely had Dreams together. They didn’t live in the same country. They lived what, six or seven hours apart? Yuuri thought about all those half dreams, those gauzy feelings he’d had right before waking. Were those from when Victor was going to sleep? Had they been trying to Dream together and Yuuri just thoughtlessly dismissed them? Yuuri always went to bed early and got up early to help out with the morning chores at the hot spring. Did that make it harder for him to Dream with his soulmate?

Yuuri got up and practiced a few spins. He did another jump, almost falling, his landing shaky. He felt tears at the corners of his eyes. He was hopeless, wasn’t he? If, by some miracle of fate, Victor was _actually_ his soulmate, how would he ever be good enough for a champion, a serious athlete like him? Victor was four years his senior. He was just a blushing little kid with childish fantasies.

But as much as his brain tried to talk him out of it, his heart knew deep down that Victor was his. He had to be.Yuuri was so tired of feeling like he didn’t have a soulmate. Didn’t he deserve happiness like everyone else he knew?

Yuuri’s entire was body sore, but thrumming with energy, with excitement and anticipation. He landed the jump perfectly on the third try, feeling his heart thudding in his chest even faster, sweat on his brow. He struggled to catch his breath. If he wanted to get close to Victor, he would have to become Victor’s equal. It was the only way he was going to be able to deserve that man. That god on the ice. He was only fifteen and already a world champion.

He breathed in the cold air, wiped away the sweat, and kept skating until he felt like his feet might fall off, until he felt like he might die from exhaustion. It was going to be like this now. Every day. If he wanted to meet his soulmate, he would have to be worthy. He would have to train, try to find a coach, try to figure out how to make his way into these competitions. Skating was Victor’s life and he would only meet Victor when he could be his equal on the ice. It would be his main focus and drive. He didn’t even care about the SoulDreams at that point. He wouldn’t try to pursue them or force them. He didn’t need to see his soulmate in his dreams to know he had one, to know that Victor was out there.

 

Ten years later, Yuuri was on his way to achieving his goal. He’d even moved to a training facility in Detroit. He felt like everything was on track. Every day he trained, he was one step closer to getting to actually meet Victor, to skate on the ice with him as his equal, to show him what his soulmate was capable of.

One night, he was with his friend Phichit when the Thai skater gasped. They were in Phichit’s room, one of those rare occasions when they didn’t have practice and should have been studying for their college classes but didn’t feel like it. Yuuri was laying on Phicihit’s bed, letting one of his friend’s hamsters crawl on his stomach. “What is it? Yuuri asked, taking Sprout in his hands and rolling over to look at Phichit.

“Oh Yuuri, I’m so sorry,” he said, turning his phone to show his friend.

Phichit had been looking at a news article on one of the popular skating websites, and as Yuuri read the headline, he felt like everything good in his life, everything solid, everything that made up his entire identity, had been destroyed in that single instant. It read, “World Champion Figure Skater Victor Nikiforov Announces Engagement to his Soulmate, Figure Skater Anna Davies.”

Yuuri didn’t leave his room for a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know the Yuuki/Nishigori thing happens a lot in YOI Soulmates AUs, but it's just such a wonderful example of two soulmates meeting (and they're so lovely together) that I had to do it. Also, this chapter is 1000 words longer than the previous, so hopefully it doesn't feel as short as the last one! ~_^ I'd planned to have the chapter out two days ago, but I ended up doing some intense editing and rewriting on it and I think it made for an overall better chapter. 
> 
> Chapter Three will be from Victor's POV!
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time we get Victor's POV! I doubled this chapter's length in editing because I wanted to add some fluff. I hope y'all enjoy this longer chapter!

Victor didn’t know why this was happening, why now. This shouldn’t be happening to him. This _didn’t_ happen to him.

What was he even doing here in Japan? He’d come on a whim, an obsession that had overtaken him, that had pulled him to this place. He was coaching Yuuri, and he was Dreaming. He’d Dreamt so much since he came to Japan, and it scared him. Why now? Why here? He’d given up on the Dreams a long time ago. He’d given up hope that he would ever Dream, and now it was happening every night.

“That was good, Yuuri, but your free leg is still a bit sloppy,” he said, ignoring the distracting thoughts, “Do it again from the top.”

Yuuri nodded and restarted the routine, gliding around him on the ice. The ice, the only thing in his world that made sense. Being out here, practicing with Yuuri, he could forget everything. He felt less empty, more free, everything felt clearer. He could watch Yuuri skate, analyze his jumps, show off for the younger man, and skate with him. They breathed in the cool air even as the both of them were sweating from the exertion of so many jumps, both of them experiencing the unique joys of teaching and being taught. This was what made sense to him. Not the stuff that happened off the ice.

He was good at pretending everything was okay, that his life was just fine, that his relationship with his fiancee was perfect. Sometimes he wondered if that hurt him even more. Lying to the world; lying to himself. Every day he spent in Japan, his life in Russia felt further and further away, less real. Even the food in Japan was better, and Yuuri’s family was so welcoming. Yuuri’s mom spoiled him and he loved it when she called him Vicchan, her pet name for him. It made him feel so warm inside, like he was part of the family. It had been so long since he’d felt like that.

They walked back to the onsen, both sore and exhausted from a hard day of training. He was surprised Yuuri could even walk, judging by the state of his feet when he’d pulled off his skates, all red and blistered. He must have a high pain tolerance along with his incredible stamina. Victor’s feet hurt just looking at them. But Yuuri never complained, not like the other Yuri did back in Russia. He never talked back or argued with Victor when he asked him to do another jump, another spin, to try again, correcting one tiny detail after another. That was one of the many things he loved about Yuuri. He was adding new ones to his list every day, even if he shouldn’t have a list in the first place. He couldn’t help it. Yuuri was just too intoxicating to be around.

“Victor,” Yuuri said as they walked. It was in that tone of voice that Victor knew meant Yuuri had a question and he was unsure of what he was about to ask.

“Yes?” He asked, curious. He never knew what was going to come out of Yuuri’s mouth. The young man was always so full of surprises.

“Well, there’s something that’s been bugging me, and it’s probably not my place to ask, but I’m curious. So don’t feel like you have to answer, okay?”

“Just ask, I’ll answer,” Victor laughed. He thought it was adorable when Yuuri got so flustered. His whole face turned red, even his ears.

“Why did you come to Japan alone?” Yuuri asked.

Victor missed a step and almost tripped. He’d known this question would come eventually, but it still caught him off guard. He didn’t say anything and they continued to walk in silence for a few more minutes. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Yuuri. It was more that he didn’t want to admit to _anyone_ that his relationship with his supposed soulmate felt less real every day they got closer to the date of their wedding. That there was a certain wrongness to it that he didn’t even like to admit to himself. It hadn’t always been like that. Just lately.

“Anna didn’t want to come to Japan,” Victor said coolly. That was enough of an excuse, right?

“But you moved so much of your stuff here. And you brought Makkachin,” Yuuri said. This boy liked to prod, didn’t he?

Victor shrugged, “Yeah, I wanted to be comfortable.”

“Oh, okay.”

Yuuri didn’t ask any more questions, which made Victor happy. He didn’t want talk about it. About _her_. She wasn’t someone he even wanted to think about right then. But of course, since Yuuri had brought her up, she was all he could think about, and it made his chest ache. He wondered if his Dreams were a form of cheating, and that made him feel guilty. He did love Anna, but she wasn’t his soulmate. Not really. The Dreams just further proved that fact. They rubbed it in his face.

When he went to bed that night, arms and legs wrapped around Makkachin’s warm, soft fluff, he thought about Anna and felt hot tears run down his cheeks. Why had Yuuri brought her up? In his Dream, he cried on the beach and this person he was Dreaming with, whoever it was, comforted him. He hated that it made him feel better. He pushed away from his soulmate, fighting the urge to lash out, but they gave him space, and eventually, the dream faded into nothing.

 

Breakfast the next morning was quiet, Victor and Yuuri both lost in thought. Yuuri seemed tired and despondent. He looked up at Victor and gave a half smile, like he didn’t mean it, but he wanted to reassure Victor that he was okay.

“What’s wrong with you this morning?” Victor asked. Yuuri didn’t look it, but he was usually a morning person. He’d told Victor something about always waking up early to help with chores at the onsen when he was a kid.

Yuuri shook his head, “Just got a lot of things on my mind,” he said.

“Like what?” Victor asked. If Yuuri got to pry into his personal life, then he got to return the favor, right?

“It’s—well, it has to do with the SoulDreams.” Yuuri sighed.

Victor cocked his head at the younger man, “Okay, and?”

“I don’t know what Russia’s customs are, but around here, we don’t really talk about them with people that aren’t family,” Yuuri said, standing up and moving to gather his plate, like that was the end of their conversation.

Victor grabbed Yuuri’s hand and pulled him back down to the table. Yuuri never talked about his Dreams, never talked about his soulmate. Victor had gotten him to admit once that he did have one, but they’d never met and he didn’t know who it was. He was intensely curious about Yuuri’s personal life, mostly because Yuuri rarely ever opened up to him. “We don’t really talk about them much in Russia, either. Actually, a lot of people in Russia don’t even really believe in them. They’re kind of an old-fashioned thing. Anyway, I’m your coach and your friend. You can trust me,” Victor said, his words coming fast. Maybe he was being a little too pushy, because Yuuri looked away.

“It’s kind of personal,” Yuuri said, then he sighed, “But, I guess, I just, I haven’t seen my soulmate’s face in my Dreams yet, and I know it usually happens eventually, but what if it doesn’t? When did you see Anna’s face?”

Victor immediately wished he hadn’t pressed the issue. Wasn’t he the one asking questions here? “I…I never did,” Victor admitted. And it was true, but not for the reason Yuuri probably thought.

Yuuri’s jaw dropped. “Really? So not only was your soulmate from another country, but you figured out who she was without ever seeing her face in your dreams?”

“I still don’t see her face. And I don’t hear her voice either,” Victor admitted. Why? Why was he telling Yuuri these things? The boy had such an honest face. It was hard to lie to him, even if the things he was saying were halfway true. He didn’t see Anna’s face, because she wasn’t his soulmate.

“Wow,” Yuuri said. “I had no idea.”

 _And to be completely honest, I thought it was all just fairytale bullshit and none of it mattered anyway, until I came here and started Dreaming every night_. He wouldn’t admit that to Yuuri even as much as he wanted to, “It seems to happen a lot of ways. Sometimes you see your soulmate’s face in your dreams and you’re able to find them. Sometimes you find your soulmate before you’ve even seen their face. Sometimes you’ve known your soulmate your whole life and never seen their face in your Dreams. It just seems to be random. Things happen when they happen.” He hoped that was a suitably optimistic yet realistic answer for Yuuri.

Yuuri looked away again, then down at his food, then back to Victor, tears in his eyes. “It’s just so frustrating. I hate it so much sometimes. The Dreams are so inconsistent. And when they do come, they’re so strange, they feel so real but when I wake up I feel like a piece of me is missing. Sometimes I wish they would just go away forever, because I know that even when I’m having these really amazing Dreams, they’ll stop eventually. And it hurts even more every time they stop.” He wiped at his eyes with balled fists.

Victor gave him a curious look. Victor had always thought maybe Yuuri didn’t talk about his SoulDreams because he was just embarrassed, maybe him and his soulmate had a lot of sexy dreams or something, stuff that he didn’t like to talk about. But it seemed like this was something more. Something that had been going on for a long time. More than just Japan’s taboos about the Dreams. Every country had their own strange traditions and ways of looking at SoulDreams. No, it seemed like Yuuri and he were a lot alike when it came to their SoulDreams. The Dreams were just so rare for the both of them.

“It was the same with me,” Victor said, putting a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. _Still is_ , he thought. “I usually only had the Dreams when I was traveling.”

“Makes sense. Since Anna is from America and she’s a skater too, you could Dream together when you were at the same competitions,” Yuuri said, his voice tinged with sadness.

“Yeah,” Victor said, sighing. That was a good justification for it.

“What?” Yuuri asked.

“Nothing,” he said. “Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I felt the same way. It hurt so much every time I couldn’t Dream with my soulmate, and it hurt even more when I did, because I knew it would always end. At some point, I just started dismissing the Dreams, telling myself it was just my mind playing tricks on me, telling myself that they weren’t real, that they would stop when they stopped because they were just dreams. It was the only way to cope with the pain, to pretend that they never meant anything in the first place.”

Yuuri nodded, “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. How does it feel now? With Anna being in Russia? You’re on different sleep schedules, so you can’t Dream together easily, right?”

 _And yet, I’m Dreaming every night_ , he thought. “I know it’s not forever,” he said. Yuuri looked a little dejected at this. “It’s different when you know who your soulmate is, it’s easier to be apart.” _It’s easier when you give up, when you decide not to believe in it anymore. When you learn not to get your hopes up. When you try to find love on your own, even if it’s not perfect._ There were so many things inside him that he wanted to tell Yuuri, so many truths he wanted to share with his protege. After a few months spending almost every day together, they were closer than Victor got with most people, and he was sure Yuuri wouldn’t blab his secrets to anyone else, but he remained his ever-cautious self. It was his armor, his way of protecting himself from hurt. He’d only ever let one person inside: Anna. And it was miserable.

Yuuri gave him another one of those disheartened smiles and said, “My soulmate seems so sad sometimes. I wish I knew how to cheer them up.”

 

Yuuri was making great progress on his routine. It wasn’t perfect, but he was hitting his jumps with more frequency. After practice that day, Victor felt inspired, “Let’s go out for dinner tonight. My treat.”

“Really?” Yuuri asked. He’d been eating lean chicken, bean sprouts, and broccoli most nights, trying to keep his weight down. Victor heard his stomach growling sometimes when they were in the baths.

“One night won’t hurt. It’s good to get out and enjoy yourself sometimes,” Victor said, giving Yuuri a wide grin.

They went back to the onsen and cleaned up, skipping a soak in the baths. Victor dug through his clothes, trying to find something perfect to wear for their evening out.

He paused, his hand on a cashmere sweater. No, it was too warm in Hasetsu for that now. It was practically summer. Why was he putting so much thought into this? It was like he was getting ready for a date or something. But for some reason, he wanted Yuuri to be pleased with him, to like his outfit, to appreciate the effort he was putting into it. He didn’t know why, though. It was just dinner.

Victor stepped into the hall wearing a black long-sleeve button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his favorite pair of black slacks, the ones that made his butt look extra amazing. He was wearing black leather boots shined to perfection. Yuuri was already waiting by the stairs, and Victor was happy to see that he’d also dressed up more than usual, switching out the usual jeans and t-shirt or athletic wear for a soft, grey cotton shirt with the top buttons undone, showing the top of his chest, and a pair of pants that also accentuated his assets. Yuuri had chosen to style his hair too, using gel to slick it back. Victor didn’t know why looking at Yuuri standing there made his chest tighten and his heart speed up a little bit.

“You clean up well,” Victor told him as they walked down the stairs together.

“You too,” Yuuri said, flushing.

They walked to the restaurant, the breeze from the ocean helping keep them cool in the summer night. Victor picked his favorite ramen shop in town and Yuuri encouraged him to try tsukemen for the first time. Victor also ordered a bottle of sake for the two of them to share. They sat down beside each other at the bar and Victor poured the sake into Yuuri’s cup and then his own. Yuuri gave the small cup a dubious glance. “It won’t hurt for you to drink a little,” Victor said. He hadn’t seen Yuuri drink once since he’d come to Japan, but he knew from the banquet at the Grand Prix Finals that Yuuri was definitely one to partake in alcohol. “What do you say in Japan before you take a drink together?” He asked.

“ _Kanpai_ ,” Yuuri told him.

“Well then, _kanpai_!” He raised his cup and took a sip of the sake and Yuuri repeated the word and took a small one too. He’d learned pretty quickly when coming to Japan that sake wasn’t something you took shots of.

Their food came and Yuuri showed Victor how to dip the noodles in the thick broth. He put it in his mouth and felt like his tastebuds were going to explode from the rich, mind-blowing flavor. “ _Vkusno!”_ He shouted, dipping the noodles and slurping more down. This was almost as good as katsudon! Yuuri chuckled and ate his shoyu ramen, the heat of the broth fogging up his glasses as he slurped.

“Well look at you two,” a woman’s voice said from beside Victor. He sucked a noodle into his mouth and looked over to see Minako sitting down in the chair beside him.

“Hi Minako-sensei!” Yuuri said, waving.

“It’s rare to see the both of you out to dinner. Special occasion?”

Victor shrugged, “Just enjoying each other’s company.”

“So it’s a date, then?” Minako asked, winking at Yuuri, who immediately grew flustered, vehemently denying that anything was going on.

“Well, if it’s not a date, then I get to join, right?” She asked, rudely helping herself to the bottle of sake.

“Sure,” he muttered, finishing off cup sake and pouring himself another.

There was an awkward silence as the men finished their ramen and Minako waited to receive hers. She hummed to herself and drank several cups with the excuse that she needed to catch up. Victor suspected that she might have a problem when it came to sake.

When her food arrived with a second bottle of alcohol, Victor tried to refill Yuuri’s cup but he covered it. “I’m fine,” Yuuri said, his cheeks already flushed. He was obviously a lightweight.

“You’ve only had two,” Victor complained.

“Two is plenty for him,” Minako interjected. “You don’t want to see him drunk. It’s embarrassing.”

“Oh?” Victor asked, narrowing his eyes at the younger man.

“I kind of go off the rails, or so I’m told,” Yuuri said, blushing.

Victor chuckled. He already knew this, of course. He’d seen what Yuuri was like after an unknown but large number of glasses of champagne. He took the cup from Yuuri and poured it, pressing it back into this hands. “I’ll watch over you,” he said.

Yuuri sighed and took a sip.

“Your funeral,” Minako said to Victor, going back to her noodles.

The three of them stumbled out of the ramen bar a while later, holding onto each other for support. Minako had challenged Victor to a drinking contest, and Victor had won, but barely. He felt ashamed to call himself a Russian after this ballerina had nearly beaten him. She could definitely handle her alcohol. Yuuri, on the other hand, hadn’t even tried to keep up, even with Victor refilling his cup every chance he got. The result was a giggly, clingy Yuuri who had trouble speaking English, strings ofslurred Japanese words falling out of his mouth, a few English phrases slipping in. Victor couldn’t help thinking that it was adorable.

“Victor,” Yuuri said, stepping away from them outside of the restaurant. Minako gave him an intent look like she was trying to tell him not to do anything stupid, but she seemed at a loss for words.

Victor was ready for it. After the banquet, he felt like he would have given anything to drunkenly dance with Yuuri again. He stepped toward Yuuri and asked, “Yes?”

Yuuri gave him a half smile, then said, “I don’t feel so good.” He turned to the side and threw up in the grass.

“Good job, Yuuri,” Minako giggled from the bench she’d found to sit on.

Yuuri turned and looked to Victor, “Sorry,” he said.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Victor said, helping Yuuri over to the bench with Minako. “I’m the one who encouraged it.”

“I don’t know if I can make it home,” Yuuri said, leaning against Minako, who hadn’t stopped laughing. He still looked a little green.

“I’ll help you,” Victor said, pulling Yuuri to his feet.

Minako skipped ahead of them, doing a pirouette. “I told you~” she sang.

Victor rolled his eyes as Yuuri stopped to empty his stomach again. This time, he had a hard time making his way back to his feet, and Victor scooped him up and carried him in his arms. Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor’s neck and nuzzled his neck. Definitely a clingy drunk, but he didn’t mind. It might have been arousing if he hadn’t smelled like vomit and liquor. Yuuri felt lighter than he’d expected. Maybe all that dieting and exercise had paid off.

Back at the onsen, Victor climbed the stairs slowly, starting to feel Yuuri’s weight in his arms. Yuuri had fallen asleep while Victor was carrying him home, and he laid the dozing man down on his bed. He turned to leave and go back to his own room when Yuuri grabbed his hand. He could have sworn Yuuri had been fast asleep. “Don’t go,” Yuuri said, his eyes barely open, his cheeks red, his hair messed up. He gave Victor a weak and pathetic smile.

Victor didn’t know what it was about this that broke him. Or maybe he just felt bad for getting Yuuri so drunk that he wouldn’t remember anything in the morning other than the killer hangover. It would probably be good to stay with him anyway, just in case he got sick again, right? He _had_ promised Yuuri he’d watch over him.

He pulled off Yuuri’s shoes and pants, leaving his boxers where they were. Yuuri seemed to doze off again, his body limp as Victor pulled his shirt off over his head. Victor unbuttoned his own shirt, taking off his shoes, socks, and pants and folding them neatly, placing them on Yuuri’s desk. He climbed into the small bed next to Yuuri. “Is this what you wanted?” He whispered to Yuuri, who was breathing deeply with sleep. Why was he even doing this? He couldn’t help but smile.

The drunk Japanese man wrapped an arm around Victor’s waist and Victor felt a thrill run through his body. Yuuri pulled closer, cuddling up to Victor, making it hard for Victor to sleep, thoughts of Yuuri flooding his mind in ways that he felt ashamed of. What was happening to him? Why did Yuuri have this effect on him? He should leave. He should go back to his own bed. This wasn’t right. He was engaged, and Yuuri was drunk. But when he shifted, Yuuri just pulled tighter, and something made him not want to leave, not want to pull away. He thought of his own bed, big and cold and lonely. He didn’t want to go back to his room. He wrapped an arm around Yuuri, who sighed contentedly into Victor’s chest. He shouldn’t overthink this. They were just having a drunken slumber party. Yuuri wouldn’t remember it in the morning. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

 

In his Dream, Victor and his soulmate danced. They danced the mambo, the rumba, they salsaed and tangoed the night away in each other’s arms, their breath hot on each other as they panted and sweated. Victor had so much fun he didn’t want to wake up.

 

The next morning, Victor awoke before Yuuri. He had a mild hangover, but he’d had worse. He could deal with it. He carefully slipped out of the bed, out of the younger man’s warm embrace. He dressed, went to his own room and took some headache medicine with a full bottle of water, then to the baths to clean up. He slipped out the back and went to Ice Castle Hasetsu to try to sort through his feelings.

Out on the ice, Victor didn’t feel so confused. Being on the icee made him happy. Happier than he did when he was with Anna. Almost as happy as he did when he was with Yuuri. His heart didn’t ache as much, guilt didn’t plague him. He didn’t have to think about anything other than his feet, his muscles, his breathing, his balance, and the music. Skating filled his mind and there wasn’t room for anything else. No worries, no emotions, no pain. Everything in his crazy life just made more sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conflicted Victor, aaah! Let me know what you think! (I hope it made sense and I hope I got things right with the dinner scene. Let me know if anything seems off, okay?)
> 
> Next chapter, we get to see into Victor's past, for anyone with questions about how how he got himself into this situation with Anna.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter where we go back into the past, but it's Victor's story this time! This one jumps around a bit.

“Gorgeous, absolutely marvelous,” Anna said as Victor stepped off the ice, enveloping him in a hug. She was so warm, so solid, so real. She loved him, even if they weren’t soulmates. They belonged together, fit together so well. They never fought, never argued. It was all love and smiles as her blue eyes sparkled when she gave him one of her wide grins and her blonde hair bounced when she danced around him, always so full of life and energy. Victor liked to think about how they’d picked each other, masters of their own destinies. Victor liked to believe that he controlled his own life. Well, when Coach Yakov and his publicist weren’t trying to.

Victor didn’t Dream. Not often, and usually only when he traveled, but not every time he traveled. It was so inconsistent. Did he even have a soulmate or was the foreign food disagreeing with him? Was he was just imagining the Dreams? That wasn’t the way a skater of his caliber should think. That was what his publicist told him, anyway. Who even hired that woman? Oh yeah, Yakov.

“Clean up and we’ll go to dinner,” Anna said, grabbing his butt and giving it a squeeze. She was even more forward than some of the male skaters he knew, well, mostly Chris, but he couldn’t say he disliked her attention.

He showered in the locker room and got dressed, thinking about what he was going to do that night. It was their anniversary. Six months since that night they’d gotten drunk in a bar together and decided to take fate into their own hands. Anna liked to celebrate those small anniversaries, like they were achievements. When she showed up on their one month anniversary with a bottle of wine and no underwear on, he was surprised. He was supposed to be the one that surprised people, not the other way around. This time, he would be the one to surprise her.

 

Victor and Anna had met, not surprisingly, at an ice skating rink. He’d been at Skate America, warming up for his Short Program, when he stepped off the ice and literally bumped into her. He often thought about how much like an American romantic comedy it was.

“I’m sorry,” he said in his heavily accented English as he nearly knocked her over. His hands instinctively caught her as she almost fell.

“Oh, Mr. Nikiforov, I’m sorry for getting in your way,” she said as she straightened, looking up into his eyes. Hers were so blue, so bright, shining with intelligence. It was the first thing he noticed about her, those smart, expressive eyes. He recognized her. She was a fellow skater, competing in women’s singles. Mila had spoken highly of her, Anna Davies. He suddenly realized that he was still holding onto her, and he dropped his hands.

“Please,” he smiled one of his practiced smiles and he knew she couldn’t help herself as she smiled back. “Call me Victor, Miss Davies,” he took her hand in his own and kissed the back of it.

She licked her lips seductively and gave him a coy look, “You can call me Anna.”

“Anna,” she was so beautiful, and the way she looked at him, it was like she saw through him. He’d never seen anyone else look at him that way. Most women would have asked him for his autograph by now, or told him how much they admired him. Anna wasn’t even blushing.

“Victor,” She said, “I think that since you almost knocked me over, maybe you owe me a drink?”

Oh, and she was forward too. It had been a while since someone had been that forward with him. “I think I might, actually.”

Soulmates came up later that night, after a little too much whiskey. Anna could hold her liquor almost as well as a Russian. Victor was becoming more and more impressed with this girl the longer they spent together, even though it had only been a few hours. They shouldn’t have been drinking before a competition, he was sure it would make Yakov furious, but they were both adults, so he didn’t care. He was having fun for once.

“So have you met your soulmate?” Anna asked as she closed one eye and focused on the dartboard. He thought it was adorable how she bit her tongue as she concentrated on hitting the bullseye. They were both equally awful at darts, but neither of them was actually keeping score.

“Not yet,” he said as she threw the dart, missing the board completely. She sighed and he stepped up to the line. “You?” he asked.

“Nope,” she said.

“I barely even Dream,” he sighed as he threw the dart, barely hitting the edge of the board. How many points was that? Was it even worth points?

Anna laughed and took a sip of her drink, “I thought I was the only one. I thought, maybe I’m the only person in America that thinks it’s pretty bullshit. All these people walk around all all goo-goo-eyed with their soulmates and I don’t even get Dreams. Or maybe I don’t remember them. Maybe they’re not worth remembering.”

He knew he liked this woman. “Or maybe they’re not all they’re cracked up to be.”

She raised her glass to that and they clinked them together, giving up on the game of darts. Neither of them had done very well anyway.

She downed the rest of her drink and said, “You know, I hear that sometimes when two soulmates meet, they just know. It’s like this electric spark. Like gravity, they can’t look away from each other. They can’t stand to be apart from each other. It controls them, this connection they have. It’s like it alters their brain chemistry. Doesn’t that sound scary as fuck?”

In all honesty, it did scare him. It was that same feeling like his own destiny was out of his control. Like, when he met his soulmate, would it even matter what he wanted? What if he didn’t want to be bound to someone for his whole life? What if he wanted his independence? “It’s not always like that, though. Sometimes the soulmates don’t even know they’re soulmates when they meet.”

“Sometimes soulmates never meet,” she said, turning the shot glass in her hands, staring at it. He knew how she felt. He was in his late twenties and had never met his soulmate, never even seen his soulmate’s face in his Dreams. When he had them. And even then, he doubted whether or not what he’d experienced was a SoulDream or just a really vivid regular dream, his mind trying to fill stuff in, trying to make him feel better. He didn’t know if he ever would actually meet his soulmate. Most people at least knew who their soulmates were by twenty-five. Some way earlier than that.

“Maybe people who never meet their soulmates are lucky,” he said. “They can choose for themselves. They aren’t bound by that inescapable gravitational pull. They can forge their own paths.”

She smiled up at him and he grinned at her. “I like that,” she said, setting down the shot glass and kissing him, her lips soft as she pressed into him. They were both drunk, but the kiss was wonderful. This girl. She was all guts and surprises and wasn’t afraid to say what she was thinking. Was this the girl for him? Had he found his soulmate after all? In that moment, it sure felt like it.

 

Six months together and he was all hers and she his. It didn’t matter that they never Dreamed together. And when he did have Dreams, it didn’t matter to him that he never saw her face or heard her voice. He was beginning to think that was all stories for kids anyway. That’s how most Russians thought anyway. She’d moved to St. Petersburg, getting a small flat of her own. They weren’t crazy enough to just move in together immediately, wanted to take things slow. He picked her up and they drove to the restaurant, all flirtation and smiles. She was wearing a short red dress and he kept his hand on her thigh the whole time, idly stroking it as he pushed her dress up out of curiosity. Again, she wasn’t wearing underwear. This seemed to be an ongoing theme with their anniversaries.

As the valet took the car, he took her hand and they went inside, her favorite wine already on the table with a bouquet of roses that matched her dress. She grinned at him and he wondered if this was what it felt like to be truly happy. He felt better when he was on the ice. _This is your true soulmate_ , he thought to himself. _Fuck the Dreams. This is what’s really real. Fake it ’till you make it_. It was an ongoing mantra in his mind.

She fed him dessert and she licked whipped cream off his nose, then he licked it off off of hers as he stood and kissed her. She tried to stand too and he put a hand on her shoulder. “No, stay,” he said as he reached into his pocket, getting down on one knee.

Anna gave him an elated look before he even opened the box, crying and nodding as he asked, “Anna Davies, will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes, yes…” It was all she could say as he slid the ring onto her finger and she bent over and kissed his forehead. He wiped away her tears and gave her the most convincing smile he could. He was good at faking it. Maybe one day he would make it.

 

“Are you worried?” Anna asked as they laid in bed together.

“You don’t Dream either,” Victor said, curling a golden lock of hair around his finger.

She looked a the ring as the three karat diamond glittered in the light of his bedside lamp. He’d brought her back to his apartment, neither of them wanting to sleep alone. He wondered when she would move in with him. When would the wedding be? He hadn’t thought that far ahead. Surprising her was what had been important to him.

“You don’t, do you?” He asked when she didn’t say anything.

She shook her head, “Not that I can tell. Do you think we do Dream and we’re just bad at remembering them?”

Victor shrugged, “I couldn’t tell you. Does it really matter? You’re happy, right? I’m happy.” _Right?_

She smile at him, “You’re right. It doesn’t matter. I know we’re soulmates, in our own way.”

They curled up together and he fought the urge to let his mind wander. Fought the urge to worry. Was this what he wanted? Did this make him happy?

 

They told everyone they were soulmates. It was easier that way, and in Victor’s mind, she _was_ his soulmate. The one he’d chosen for himself. The one he lived unconditionally. They were perfect for each other. But that’s when things always start to go downhill.

 

“Did you see this?” Anna asked Victor, handing him her phone as she wandered off to rummage through the fridge for a snack. “It’s all over the internet, it’s gone viral.” He was curled up on the couch with Makkachin, trying to take a nap. He groaned groggily and took the phone.

There was a YouTube video on the screen. He pressed play and watched as a black-haired young man skated. “This—this is my routine,” he said as the man began to mimic his own movements on the ice.

“It is,” she said from the fridge.

There was no music. He tried to turn up the video, but the volume was maxed out. He wasn’t skating to any audible music, but it didn’t matter. Victor knew the music. He knew it so well that he heard it in his sleep. And this skater, he created the music with his body. It was like he was an instrument. Victor’s eyes narrowed in thought as he watched, then watched it again, then again. He knew this skater. This was Yuuri Katuski. His face felt hot as he remembered Yuuri’s antics at the banquet that followed the Grand Prix Final. Yuuri had gotten quite drunk and challenged several skaters, including Victor, to dance-offs. He’d told Victor that if he won, Victor should be his coach. He wanted Victor to come to Japan when the season was over. He hadn’t exactly agreed to it, but he _had_ lost the dance-off.

That had been the best banquet he’d been to in a long time, and Yuuri Katsuki had captivated him, even made him forget about Anna until she’d gotten jealous and pulled him away after the amazing dance he’d had with Yuuri. At one point, he’d shamefully wondered what it would be like to kiss the younger man. He still had pictures and videos from that night on his phone, even though Anna had wanted him to delete them.

Yuuri hadn’t done very well in the Grand Prix Finals, but he was still a top skater. And he was executing Victor’s program flawlessly. Victor had slaved away at this routine, and this Katsuki kid was just skating it like he could do it in his sleep. So effortlessly, just like his dancing. Victor was once more enthralled. It was like he couldn’t look away. Even when Anna took her phone back, he got his own and watched it again and again. He began to obsess. He googled Katsuki, figuring out everything he could about him.

“Okay, you can stop now,” she said. “It’s time to go.”

Victor wasn’t hungry. He didn’t know what he was. What was this feeling? Why was he so fixated on this man? After the banquet he hadn’t felt like this, but Yuuri had been drunk at the banquet, not himself. But this routine, was this some sort of message from Yuuri? A challenge? It hit closer to home than any words or drunken dance-offs could. Victor understood skating more than anything.

“I have to go see him,” Victor said.

“What?” She asked, pulling on her coat.

“Yuuri Katsuki. I need to talk to him,” he said, running a hand through his hair, glancing around at the apartment, thinking about what he should pack.

“That’s insane. He’s in Japan. You don’t even know where in Japan.”

“Hasetsu. He told me at the banquet. He said his parents had a hot spring hotel there. And it makes sense. There’s an ice skating rink there, Ice Castle Hasetsu. I found some pictures of it and it matches the background from the video. I figure that’s the best place to start.”

Anna’s eyes widened. “I _knew_ I recognized him! That night at the banquet was _crazy._ I thought Chris and that kid were going to get forcibly removed. I had to untag myself from so many Facebook posts. You want to go meet _that_ guy?”

“Come on, you love surprises. Let’s take a trip to Japan. Let’s go see him. I’d like to see him do this in person.”

“I can’t just up and leave,” she sighed. “I have a life here now, I have things to do, and so do you. You’re supposed to be figuring out what to do for the next season. This is silly. I know how you get. You’re obsessing. Why not just find his number and call him if you want to talk to him so badly?”

Victor could see worry in her expression. “I need to go,” he said. “I think this is what I’m meant to do next season. I want to coach him.”

Anna laughed, “Coach him? You’ve never coached anyone before and you’re going to fly to Japan and coach some guy who drunkenly dry humped you at a banquet and begged you to be his coach? And he hasn’t contacted you since then. He probably doesn’t even remember the incident.”

Victor remembered, after the Grand Prix Finals, how he’d seen the Japanese skater in the lobby of the Sochi Ice Palace, watching him, his gaze so intent that Victor had been a little startled. He’d recognized him from the warm ups, from seeing him at the finals, but hadn’t paid him much attention. He’d been so focused on himself, so focused on winning. He was always like that in a big competition, when everything came down to winning, to getting the gold.

He’d asked the guy if he wanted a commemorative photo. He kicked himself for asking that, but it was something that just came out, it was part of his public persona, and it was hard to turn off. He didn’t know how to talk to someone that was looking at him like that. Yuuri had looked so hurt. He’d had two interactions with Yuuri Katsuki, and he couldn’t say that he’d handled either of them very well. This was his chance to surprise Yuuri, to do things on his own terms for once.

“Something just tells me that I need to go. You can stay, it’s okay. I’ll check in when I get to Japan. I’ll even take Makkachin, that way you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Wait, you’re going _now_?” She asked. “We had dinner plans.”

“Sorry, you’ll have to take a rain check,” he said, opening up his phone to buy plane tickets. What was the easiest way to get to Hasetsu? Would Yuuri’s family’s hot spring hotel have rooms available? He could figure that out while he was on the plane. There was a flight leaving in three hours. That would be enough time. He booked it, plus flight accommodations for Makkachin. He knew some movers that could box up some of his essentials and ship it out in the morning.

“Unbelievable,” she said, grabbing her keys and storming out. Victor didn’t care. He was going to Japan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly some background and fluff for this AU and how Victor and Anna even met and how VIctor got himself in this mess in the first place. I'll probably be updating Wednesdays and Sundays from now on until I finish!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the present! I hate breaking chapters up with two points of view but it needed to be done.

“Beautiful, Yuuri,” Victor purred as Yuuri landed a near-perfect quadruple toe loop. He was landing them more often than he used to, but it was still only about thirty percent of the time. Not nearly consistent enough for competition. But that’s how it always was for Yuuri. Especially in competitions. His anxiety muddied his mind with fear and worry, he was afraid to take risks because flubbed his jumps. He usually made up for it with the rest of his performance, but all-in-all, he didn’t really enjoy competitions. They just made him sick to his stomach, made his chest hurt and his breath uneasy. The only reason he’d started this whole crazy plan to be a professional figure skater was because he thought Victor was his soulmate. Even now, even though he knew Victor was taken, that Victor wasn’t the one, the man still had an unnerving effect on him. The way Victor said his name made his knees wobble and he tried to refocus. He hated how his body reacted to Victor. It wasn’t right.

“You’re getting better,” Victor said when he skated over for a drink of water. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with a towel and and smiled at his coach. His compliments made him feel stronger and more confident. At least they did _that_ much. Victor took Yuuri’s hand and it was so warm, but maybe it was just his own hands that were cold from being out on the ice. “I’m so proud of you, Yuuri,” he said. Yuuri’s heart felt like it was breaking. His hand, those long, slender fingers, it all felt so achingly familiar. He tried not to think about it. His mind was playing tricks on him. Filling in gaps that didn’t exist. Victor had a soulmate, after all. A soulmate that was not Yuuri. Anna. He had to keep reminding himself of that. But Victor’s bright blue eyes were shining in the light streaming in through the big windows of Ice Castle Hasetsu and he had a hard time rationalizing things at that moment.

Yuuri pulled his hand away even though he didn’t want to. Even though he wanted to hold Victor’s warm, strong hand forever. He tore his gaze away from Victor’s and skated back out onto the ice, trying to shake Victor out of his thoughts. It was getting harder to do that, though.

He couldn’t remember what had happened the night he’d gone out with Victor. He remembered drinking. A lot. He shouldn’t have done that, but Victor had pushed him, and he couldn’t say that he didn’t _want_ to. The next thing he remembered was waking up in his bed in his underwear. Victor must have gotten him back home and taken his clothes off. They’d been neatly folded next to his bed. His bed felt so warm, and his sheets smelled like Victor. Had Victor been in his bed at some point? It was a tiny bed. If they’d been in the same bed together, they would have been awfully close. He dismissed it. His mind had a track record of making things up, making strange connections. He’d asked Victor about it, but all he’d gotten was a sly smile and a wink. Victor wasn’t the most helpful.

 

In his Dream that night after practice, Yuuri was skating side-by-side with his soulmate, holding hands as they skated together around the rink. They were at a rink that Yuuri didn’t recognize, the writing unfamiliar jumbles of characters. There were families skating, kids falling and laughing, couples, wobbly and holding hands as they stepped onto the ice, encouraging each other.

He turned to look at his soulmate, desperately wanting to say something, anything, but that wasn’t how the Dreams worked. He couldn’t truly control them any more than he could control the earth’s rotation, or gravity. It wasn’t fair. He was so close to his soulmate. This was the longest amount of time they’d Dreamt together, and Yuuri was worried about what would happen when these nightly Dreams stopped. He didn’t know what he would do with himself. It was his greatest fear, that he would go to sleep one night and they would stop.

He stumbled in his dream, his toe pick hitting an uneven part of the ice, falling to his knees, pain jarring him. Everything in the Dreams felt _so_ real.

Yuuri’s soulmate was by his side, attempting to help him up, but his limbs felt heavy and clumsy and his soulmate fell too. Yuuri laughed. He couldn’t help himself. It was so absurd, like they were kids learning to skate. His soulmate laughed too, a man’s laugh deep and full of happiness and life. Finally. Finally, he got to hear what his soulmate sounded like, and his cheeks felt warm at the thought of what could come next. Maybe they would get a chance to talk? _Finally_ , some sort of progression. Down on their knees on the ice, his soulmate hugged him and he hugged back. Everything about this just made him even more happy. Made him feel complete. There was someone out there for him, and that someone was a real person. Now if only he could stop pining for Victor.

 

*     *     *     *     *

 

“What do you think it _means_ , Mari?” Victor heard Yuuri ask his sister. He’d awoken in good spirits and followed the smell of breakfast to the table, but he hesitated before turning the corner to enter the room. He didn’t usually eavesdrop, but the desperation in Yuuri’s voice made him hesitant to interrupt the conversation.

“It’s too soon to tell, but it’s a good sign,” she said. Victor wished he’d gotten there a few minutes earlier. Yuuri rarely shared his dreams with anyone and only shared them with family when he did. The younger man was still a mystery in a lot of ways, no matter how much Victor pestered him.

Yuuri let out a sigh that sounded like relief, “You think so?”

“I think your Dreams are finally starting to evolve. I think you’re right, maybe you two will be able to have a conversation soon,” she said.

There was silence on Yuuri’s end, and Victor wished he could see the younger man’s face.

“What did your soulmate sound like?” She asked. Victor realized he was holding his breath.

Yuuri seemed to think on this for a minute, “Well, it was just a laugh, but I could tell that it was a man. I know, narrows it down a lot, right?” He chuckled. The next thing he said made Victor’s heart nearly stop, “I know it sounds crazy, but his laugh sounded a lot like Victor’s.”

Mari laughed, “Still getting your hopes up, I see.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s insane. I think my mind is just playing tricks on me, jumping to conclusions that it has no right to. And at the time, I remember thinking that the laugh just sounded familiar, then when I woke up, all I could think about was Victor and the way he laughs.”

“I think your old crush is getting in the way of things,” Mari scolded. “You need to let it go. He’s engaged to his soulmate.”

“I know, I know…” Yuuri sighed.

Victor backed away from the room as slowly as he could. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t think, all his mind could tell him to do was to get out of there, don’t let them see him, to retreat. The Dream had been such a good one, full of laughter and surprise and warm hugs, the physical contact he loved. How had he missed it? That laugh that he’d heard from his soulmate, the first real noise he’d heard, he’d tried to ignore it, but was it Yuuri’s laugh? The hand he’d held, was it Yuuri’s hand? The person he’d hugged? Yuuri. It made so much sense, and yet, it made no sense at all. After all this time, it was Yuuri? Yes, it was. It had to be. There was no other explanation. He and Yuuri were soulmates. Everything from the past three months clicked into place.

His heart was racing as he took the stairs two at a time. He closed himself in his bedroom and tried to breathe. What was he going to do? What would Yuuri say? Would he be heartbroken to find out that Victor was his soulmate? Victor who was in love with someone else? But the way he felt when he was around Yuuri always seemed way more real than how he felt around Anna. Did he even love Anna, or did he love the idea of Anna? A distraction for the press. Someone he could pretend to be soulmates with, tell everyone he was soulmates with so he wouldn’t have to deal with crazy fans trying to get into his pants, trying to convince them that they were his soulmate, not taking no for an answer. With Anna, things had been easier, but was it right? A lot of his problems had disappeared once they’d announced to the public they were soulmates and engaged. It had been a blissful period of relief. What would people think now? Would his fans feel betrayed? Would _Anna_ feel betrayed? No, he did love her. He wouldn’t have proposed to her if he didn’t love her. They’d chosen each other.

Victor sat on his bed, pulled out his phone, and dialed Anna’s number. When she answered, she sounded groggy, and he realized he’d forgotten the time zone difference in his haste. It would be past midnight where she was.

“Victor?” Anna asked, her voice sleepy.

“Sorry for waking you,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. He heard blankets rustling. She yawned audibly. “What do you need? Is everything okay? Is it an emergency?”

“I—I wanted to tell you something. I don’t really know how, though.”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“Are you still there?” He asked.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice hesitant and hushed. Did she suspect?

“I’ve been Dreaming,” he said, his voice choked, like he was ashamed to admit it. Like he had any control over it. Like he’d been purposely cheating on her or something.

“Wait, what?” Anna asked, her tone was like when he told her he wouldn’t make it to dinner because practice was running long. Disappointed, trying to hide anger, or maybe jealousy?

“Yeah,” he responded, “I’m sure of it.” Why were his eyes burning?

“How often?”

“Every night.”

There was a pause and he wondered if he’d lost her. He was about to ask if she was okay when she began to laugh. “Vitya,” she said using the pet name she used when she was being tender with him, “It’s okay, I know you wouldn’t cheat on me on purpose. If you’re Dreaming, that means your soulmate probably lives in that time zone or near it, right? When you come back to Russia, the Dreams will stop.”

“What?” Was she delirious? Still half asleep? He was _Dreaming._ This was his soulmate he was talking about. His _real_ soulmate.

“You just have to come back. The Dreams will stop and we’ll go on with our lives. It’s not your fault that we have these silly things from time to time.”

“I’m not coming back,” he said, surprised by the firmness in his voice.

“Why not? I know you’re coaching this Yuuri guy, but if you want to coach, you could coach in Russia, you know. Bring Yuuri with you. Or better yet, I bet the Russian Yuri would like to have you coach him. He looks up to you so much.”

“Anna,” Victor growled.

“You don’t even know who your soulmate is, so why does it even matter?”

“But I do know. It—it’s Yuuri Katsuki,” Victor said, his voice barely a whisper.

Anna laughed again. This time, it was a bitter laugh, full of her jealous, pent up frustrations. She sniffed. “Of _course_ it’s him. I should have known. The signs were all there. I was so stupid.”

“I’m sorry, Anna. I didn’t mean for this to happen,” and it was true.

“Vitya,” she said, her voice a purr. He knew that sound well and it caused other responses to well up inside of him. He shut his eyes and focused on breathing. “I knew this day would come eventually. I mean, I hoped it wouldn’t. I prayed, even. I tried to ignore the thought of it and bury it deep in the back of my mind, but honestly, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if everyone has a soulmate and we just get too impatient sometimes. We give up too soon. But you and I, we found love on our own. Real love. And we can’t let that die, right?”

Victor didn’t know how to respond. He thought over her words as he cried into the phone. Damn it, he did love her. But Yuuri was his soulmate, and the way he felt around Yuuri.

“If you think I’m okay with this, that I will _ever_ be okay with this, I’ll tell you that I’m not,” she said into the silence. “I’m going to win you back. You may think that Yuuri is your soulmate, but I’m your real soulmate, because I’m the one you chose. We love each other. We’re engaged. You can’t just abandon me, Victor. We chose our own destines, remember? We were the ones that beat the system. You’re not even gay, right? I mean, you clearly love having sex with women. So what is it about this little Japanese boy that has you so ready to abandon your love? To leave me and tell me you’re not coming back? The Victor Nikiforov I knew wouldn’t have believed in that sort of bullshit. The Victor Nikiforov I fell in love with was the master of his own destiny.”

A beep signaled the end of the call and Victor wrapped his arms around his legs, sobbing into his knees. What had he just done? What had he expected would happen? That Anna would just be okay with it? He was an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's just gotten a bit more complicated haha.
> 
> It's still Sunday in my time zone! This was posted way later than I planned to post it. Hope y'all enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

“Victor?” Yuuri asked, knocking on his coach’s door. Victor hadn’t come to breakfast. He wasn’t usually one to skip a meal. There was no response from inside, and Yuuri wondered if he’d gone on to the Ice Castle already. He sometimes would get there first, but lately they ate, then walked together.

Yuuri grabbed his bag and made his way down to the lobby, “Mom? Did you see Victor leave?”

“Vicchan? No, I haven’t seen him. Maybe he left out the back? Did you check the baths?”

“Yeah, I checked all the usual spots. I guess I’ll head to start practice. He might already be there, but if you happen to see him, let him know I left, okay?”

His mom nodded as he slipped on his shoes. He jogged the whole way there, happy to get a little exercise in the cool morning air, thinking of the Dream he’d had the night before. He hoped he would get to hear his soulmate laugh again soon. Or maybe more? Mari had seemed hopeful, but maybe she was just trying to make him feel better. His heart thrummed in his chest, partly from running, but also from excitement.

 

The rink was empty. Yuuko hadn’t seen Victor all morning, and Yuuri was beginning to worry. Had he gone out drinking all night again? Victor wasn’t usually one to come to practice late, but it had happened on occasion, so it wasn’t entirely without precedent. Yuuri laced up his skates anyway and began his warm-up. At least he could be ready when Victor finally decided to show.

After an hour, Yuuri took a break and called Victor, but he didn’t answer. His stomach knotted with worry. No, he was being paranoid. Victor had a perfectly good reason for not being there and not answering his phone.

Two hours later, Victor finally showed up. He looked rough. His usually lustrous silver hair was greasy like he hadn’t showered, his was face puffy like he’d been crying, his eyes bloodshot and red. His whole demeanor made him look sad and tired, older than his twenty-seven years. Yuuri skated over to the entrance and stepped off the ice, wrapping Victor in a hug. Victor stiffened at first, then loosened up, allowing Yuuri to hold him. Whatever it was that was wrong, Yuuri wanted to comfort him. When they eventually broke apart, Victor’s eyes were watery.

“Is everything okay?” The first thing he thought of was Makkachin, but the dog peeked his head around Victor’s legs and gave Yuuri one of those dog smiles, open-mouthed panting and shining eyes.

Victor nodded, “It will be,” he said, taking Yuuri’s hand and pulling him close against his body, wrapping the arm around his waist, then he put his other hand under Yuuri’s chin and lifted it. Yuuri gazed into Victor’s bloodshot, tear-filled eyes as Victor kissed him, gently, his mouth salty from crying. Yuuri’s eyes widened in shock, but he didn’t pull away. He was so stunned that he didn’t even know how to try. This was what he’d wanted for so long, and it felt _so_ right. More right than anything else. Like this kiss was the kiss of his Dreams, and the longer Victor kissed him, the more he came to realize that this _was_ the kiss of his Dreams. Victor’s lips were as familiar as his hands, as familiar as that laugh, so soft and warm and inviting.Yuuri felt his own lips part, inviting him inside, tasting him, his hands coming up to wrap around Victor’s body—

Yuuri forced himself to back away, nearly tripping over his skates, stopping the kiss when all he wanted to do was keep going, to push further. “No, no, this isn’t right.” Victor looked down at him, his bloodshot blue eyes full of a lust that wasn’t there a few minutes ago.

“Why?” Victor asked.

“Because you have a soulmate already,” Yuuri said, feeling like he wanted to cry now too. Feeling hurt, like he’d betrayed not only Victor and Anna’s love for each other but his own soulmate’s love and trust. His brain was playing so many tricks on him. “I don’t know what your problem is. Did you and Anna have a bad argument or something? Is that why you look like you’ve been crying all morning?”

“I—no, it’s not quite like that. I have something I need to—,” Victor said.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Yuuri said, looking away, trying not to get angry at his coach. “I was saving my first kiss for my soulmate. All my real firsts. You took that away from my soulmate. You took their first kiss.”

Victor looked hurt. And he looked like he really wanted to say something else, but then he closed his eyes and looked away. Yuuri had never seen him look so vulnerable. He’d never seen the man cry, never seen him at such a loss for words. “I’m sorry,” Victor finally said. “It was uncalled for and it was hasty. I’m not in my right mind today. Just…forget I did that, okay? How about you show me what you’ve been working on?”

“Fine,” Yuuri said, anger in his voice as he, skated out to the middle of the ice to began his free skate routine. He was preoccupied with his feelings for Victor, his loss, the way that he felt like he’d betrayed a person he’d never even met. It was all just too much. He didn’t do very well in his practice. His thoughts kept straying back to that kiss, the feeling of Victor’s lips on his own, the way that the older man tasted, like vodka and sadness. Was he drunk? Is that why he’d kissed him? Yuuri wondered what his own excuse was. Why did kissing Victor have to feel so _right_? Why did he want to do it again and again and again? Why had it been so hard for him to pull away from that kiss? There was no way Victor was his soulmate. Victor _had_ a soulmate.

Yuuri stepped off the ice an hour later, bruised from falling, sore and tired and frustrated. He sat down and pulled off his skates. Victor had been unusually quiet while Yuuri had practiced, and he wondered why his coach had come at all if he hadn’t planned to actually coach him.

He packed up his things and left the building. He didn’t want to speak to Victor. He didn’t even want to see Victor’s face, see those sad eyes that had watched him skate, watched him mess up, watched him fall. Victor had seen everything over the past few months, had seen his flaws, his darkest feelings, his anxieties. Victor had shared Yuuri’s hopes for his future of skating. Yuuri wasn’t usually one to open up to people, but he’d opened up to his coach. For what? What was that kiss to Victor? Was he making fun of Yuuri? No, he wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t do that.

 

That night, Yuuri didn’t Dream. It was the first time in months that he hadn’t had a Dream. Did his soulmate know? Did his soulmate feel his betrayal? Had the kiss broken something? Was his guilt destroying the beautiful thing they’d had? Yuuri woke up sometime in the night and buried his head under his pillow crying in the darkness. It was just a kiss, right? Most people didn’t have their first kiss with their soulmates anyway. He was stupid for thinking that his soulmate would wait for him. His soulmate might not even be a virgin. How pathetic would he look when he finally met his soulmate? Still a virgin, the only person that ever kissed him was his coach. And what a kiss it was. How could he stop thinking about it? Why could he still feel the kiss on his lips? When Victor had kissed him, for an instant, everything had felt perfect and right and beautiful. Why was that so wrong?

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri said, hoping that somewhere in the world, his soulmate might hear, might forgive him. He dozed off again, his dreams full of Victor. Like it or not, he couldn’t even control his regular dreams.

 

*     *     *     *     *

 

Victor sat outside Yuuri’s room, leaning against the wall of the hallway, his arms wrapped around Makkachin. He wanted to knock, wanted to go inside, desperately wanted to tell Yuuri everything. But how could he? Would Yuuri even believe him?

After Yuuri had left the rink without even a word, choosing to walk home on his own instead of walking with Victor like they always did, after the silent treatment at dinner and in the bath, after everything between them that had gone unsaid, Victor wondered if there was even a way to make all of this right. Victor had to tell Yuuri the truth, had to make him know that Anna wasn’t actually his soulmate. But he knew that if he just told Yuuri that right now, he wouldn’t believe him. But how to show him?

Victor was afraid to go to sleep, afraid to Dream with Yuuri. What if something bad happened? What if they kissed again? Everything was all confusing now. He couldn’t trust his own stupid, impulsive actions when he was awake, how could he trust himself when he Dreamt?

Victor blushed at the thought of the kiss. It had been an amazing kiss. Better than any time he’d kissed his fiancee. That was another sign, right? Anna was right about one thing. Victor hadn’t known he was gay. But he supposed it didn’t have anything to do with anatomy, anything to do with Yuuri being a man. At that moment, he’d felt like he _needed_ to kiss Yuuri, just to see how it felt. It was selfish of him to do, without explaining anything to Yuuri, without telling him anything. But Victor had always been selfish, and he knew it. He’d needed to know, and now he knew. Yuuri was his soulmate, that was for sure.

He thought of the list he’d been compiling since he’d met Yuuri, whether he’d wanted to or not. All the things he loved about Yuuri. He loved Yuuri, and Yuuri was his soulmate. If they were meant to be together, that was what mattered the most, not these labels, straight or gay or whatever. The way Yuuri made him feel, the way his entire body had felt alive, the way his mind had buzzed, his lips hot and tingling, his whole body on fire, Yuuri had done that to him. He’d wanted to do more. Oh so much more. Once he got a chance to tell Yuuri the truth, once Yuuri believed it, they would figure out where everything went, that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was convincing Yuuri that they were soulmates. But he was going to convince him, somehow. And how would Yuuri feel about the lies he’d been telling the world this whole time? Would he feel hurt? Betrayed that Victor hadn’t waited like he’d waited? That Victor had thrown it all out because of impatience and lust? He was more ashamed of himself in that moment than any other time in his life. Had he squandered his chance to be with Yuuri, his true soulmate? No, he couldn’t think like that. Yuuri would accept him. He had to.

He leaned his head against the door, softly as to not make noise, and closed his sore eyes. He thought he heard a noise like crying from inside the room. Was Yuuri crying? He hoped not. He didn’t want to cause Yuuri so much anguish, but he needed to give Yuuri some sort definitive proof that they were soulmates, always had been and always would be.

“I’m sorry,” it sounded like Yuuri said, the words hard to make out through the door. Victor longed to throw open the door right then and scoop Yuuri up in his arms and smother him with love. Why couldn’t he?

“Don’t be,” Victor breathed, putting a hand on the door, wishing he was inside. Why? Why was this so hard? Why did he have to overthink every move he made? He hadn’t thought about it this hard when he’d abandoned Anna, gathered up all his stuff, and moved to Japan. But now he was so afraid he might lose everything if he wasn’t careful. “It’s all my fault.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short-ish one today. Impulsive Victor is continuing to be impulsive. And selfish. D: 
> 
> Let me know if the shifting points of view become confusing. Thank you everyone for the comments so far! The next chapter will introduce a new POV character.


	7. Chapter 7

Anna stepped off the plane, exhausted from her nonstop flight, pulling her carry-on behind her. She’d been to Japan before for a few competitions here and there, but never by herself. The airport was huge, basically like she was stepping into a mall, and she had to keep from getting distracted by all the fun things to look at and buy. She was on a mission, and that mission was to find Victor and bring him back to Russia.

Google Maps and a friendly English-speaking airport worker helped her find the right train to take to Hasetsu. As she sat on the train, hand on her suitcase to keep it from rolling away, she thought about Victor. How could he do this to her? First, he’d left her all alone. She’d only stayed in Russia because she’d been too stubborn to entertain his desires to abandon everything and coach this kid in Japan. Her and Victor were both willful, and she had tried to play the long game, tried to out-stubborn him, but now she realized her mistake. No one could out-stubborn Victor.

After the first week, she was sure he’d miss her, then after the first month, she thought, he’ll be back anytime now, right? How wrong she’d been. She hadn’t even had Makkachin to cuddle with, and had considered going out and adopting a puppy just so she would have some companionship. Two months in and she’d made a Tinder account, but she felt too guilty to use it. The practice rink felt empty, despite the other members of the Russian team that also practiced there. It wasn’t the same without Victor there. Even Yuri’s yelling at Mila, which she usually found hilarious, wasn’t enough to fill the void that Victor had left behind. And Victor had been calling less and less. Three months and then he calls her and tells her _that_? It pissed her off how he could just say the things he’d said to her. He wasn’t coming back? Because of this fat little piggy loser Japanese boy and SoulDreams? Her rage consumed her. She’d ranted to Victor’s teammates and they helped fuel the vitriol. No one wanted Victor to stay in Japan, except Georgi, who thought SoulDreams were the most romantic fucking thing in the world. Yuri had taught her a few new Russian curse words in case she needed to use them when she found Victor.

Victor and his little plaything consumed her thoughts. It was all she could think about on the plane while she fought to get comfortable, the person next to her snoring peacefully for most of the flight. She wanted to punch something. She had to see him. It had been long enough. She was going to remind him of what he was missing. Victor wasn’t gay. He very much liked what they had, she knew that well enough. The sex had always been amazing. All he needed was a reminder of what he was missing. She wasn’t going to let Yuuri Katsuki fuck up her life. It had been perfect until that night at the banquet, until he’d gotten drunk and begged Victor to be his coach. Who _did_ something like that, anyway? Then that video. Why had she even shown it to Victor? He would have probably seen it anyway, but she didn’t know this man would have that much of an effect on her fiancee. It made sense if Katsuki was his soulmate. Most people couldn’t help it when they were drawn together like that. It was like a force of nature, and she hated it. Hated that she didn’t have what they had. She was supposed to have that with _Victor_. She would just have to break that bond, pull them apart. It was the only way. It could be done. She just had to keep telling herself that.

She knew exactly where Victor was staying. It was the only onsen in town that was still open, from what she could tell on Google Maps. The town was small and it was starting to get late by the time she arrived. There were no taxis in sight. “Guess I’m walking,” she sighed, rolling her bag behind her. She needed to stretch her legs anyway, and at least it was warm. Hasetsu was quiet at night, the streets were clean and the streetlights were soft. She felt like she was in a dream. What was she doing? Was she making the right decision here? Was this the right thing to do? She shook her head and forged on ahead. The mission, the mission, the mission. Get Victor back. Remind him that he’d left his fiancee behind. Someone he loved. That needed to be her _only_ focus. She was going to leave Japan with Victor in tow, bring him back to Russia, bring him back to his real life. Pull him out of this fantasy world he’d fallen into, soulmate or not.

When Anna arrived at the onsen, her feet were sore and her arm tired from rolling the bag. She was more than a little tired from her travels. She walked inside and was greeted by an elderly, friendly-looking Japanese man. “ _Konbonwa,_ ” the man said, bowing and welcoming her. He didn’t speak much English, but he held up a hand telling her to wait, then picked up his phone and had a short conversation in rapid Japanese with whoever he’d called. A few minutes later, another man came down the stairs, taking them two at a time until he looked up and saw her.

“Yuuri Katsuki,” she said, her voice a growl as he froze, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

Yuuri looked to the other man, then back to her. “Anna…Davies,” he breathed, his cheeks turning pink. “My dad called me down to translate, but I had no idea you were coming. Victor didn’t say anything.” His English was better than she thought it would be. He was still fat, though. What did Victor even see in him? There was no way that this was his real soulmate. She fought to push down all the jealous, hateful feelings. Those wouldn’t help her right at that moment. She needed to turn on the charm instead, before she scared him back up those stairs.

“That’s because Victor didn’t know I was coming. It’s a surprise!” She laughed and gave him a wink, switching back to playing the friendly, “peppy blonde” part she always played, but she wasn’t letting her guard down. She would play nice with Yuuri until she knew exactly what was going on here.

“I’ll show you up to his room,” Yuuri said, taking her bag and carrying it up the stairs. He was being friendlier than she expected, and it caught her a little off-guard. “You can take a bath in the hot springs whenever you want to. It’s very relaxing.” She glanced around as they walked. The onsen looked old, yet well maintained. She begrudgingly liked the quaint little place.

“Thanks,” she said as he put the bag down outside a closed door.

“He’s down in the baths right now, but I’m sure you know how to make yourself comfortable. He’ll be up soon.” He was blushing again. What sort of guy blushed so easily like this?

“Yuuri,” she said as he handed her a key and turned to leave.

He turned to look at her, “Yes?”

“I won’t let you steal him away from me so easily. That’s a promise.” She smirked as his entire face turned red, ears and all. He turned and scurried down the hall as she let herself into the room. It didn’t even look like a hotel room, more like a small banquet room. What kind of hotel was this? There was a large bed in the middle of the room though, and that was all she needed.

*     *     *     *     *

Victor made his way back up to his room, wearing one of the inn’s robes, his hair still wet from the bath. He’d had a nice, long soak and it had helped him think about things more clearly. He’d had a chance to sort out his feelings in the two days since he’d found out Yuuri was his soulmate and kissed him. He hadn’t spoken to Anna, he’d hardly spoken to Yuuri, and he was afraid to Dream. He’d barely slept, taking catnaps during the day when he knew Yuuri would be awake, staying up all night trying to will himself to go to Yuuri, too afraid to actually do it. He knew he was being crazy, but until he could figure out a better plan, he didn’t know what else to do. Yuuri kept practicing, and he kept a watchful eye over everything, but there was a tension between them, something that would likely snap in a violent and painful way. Maybe he would sleep tonight. He didn’t like the hurt, disappointed look on Yuuri’s face the last couple days, and Victor knew how he felt. He missed the Dreams too. Yuuri would at least be nice to him in his Dreams, right? They were usually always so good, but now he was afraid.

He passed Yuuri in the hallway, the younger man looking more worried than usual. Yuuri glanced up at him and Victor saw that he was blushing furiously. What had caused _that_? Surely nothing he’d done recently. He wanted to stop Yuuri, grab him by the arm, bring him up to his room and tell him everything, but he let the man pass, too afraid to act. Was he afraid that Yuuri still wouldn’t believe him? Or worse, that Yuuri had gotten to know Victor and just didn’t want to be with him? It would break his heart if he told Yuuri the truth and Yuuri rejected him. He realized he’d stopped in the middle of the hallway to wander off into thought, and he made his way to his room, wishing he had the courage to follow Yuuri.

When Victor opened the door to his room, Anna was on his bed, naked.

He quickly shut the door behind him so no one would pass by and see. “What are you doing here?” He hissed. Why was he whispering?

Anna sat back on her heels, her shoulders drooping, lips forming a pout, “Three months apart and that’s how you greet me?”

“Sorry,” he said, running a hand through his wet hair. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, his heart pounding, trying to process what was happening. She’d come to Japan. Why had she come to Japan? Was she trying to ruin everything?

“It’s a shame you took a bath,” she said, reaching toward his robe, trying to reach the belt he’d tied around himself, “You’re going to get all dirty again. I guess you’ll just have to take another.”

Victor took a step away so she couldn’t touch him. She crawled onto all fours, her long, blonde hair spilling around her shoulders, breasts pushed between her arms. He could tell she was trying to look seductive, but to him, all she looked was desperate. “I thought I’d made things clear over the phone,” he said.

“You said you were staying, so I figured I would come to you, remind you what you’d been missing,” she said, sitting back again and sticking a finger into her mouth and pulling it out slowly, eyelashes fluttering seductively. He noticed that she had more makeup on than usual. She’d pulled out all the stops, and usually he would be ready to jump into bed with her right then, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t what he wanted. Looking down at her, it all seemed so fake.

Her engagement ring glittered in the light as she climbed off the bed and stepped toward him. “Vitya,” she purred, backing him into the wall. He closed his eyes, desperate to keep his cool, to not let her seduce him. She pulled at the belt of his robe and he sucked in a breath. She made a sound of delight. “I knew it,” she said, taking his erection into her hand. “I told you you’re not gay.”

Victor cursed himself, cursed his body and cursed his dick for betraying him. Three months without sex and he probably would have gotten aroused at the sight of some scandalous sideboob. He pried her hand off and pushed her away, rougher than he’d intended. She looked hurt. He wrapped his robe back around himself.

“How should I explain to you that you’re not my soulmate? How do I explain that to you in a way that you’ll understand?” He asked.

Anna gazed up at him, eyes filling with tears. “Vitya, I—I love you. Just because you tell me you’ve found your soulmate, you expect me to not love you anymore? How do you expect me to handle this? You think I should just disappear?”

He sighed and his hand found his hair again. That was always what he did when he was nervous, and he knew she could tell. She used to always point it out to him jokingly, but he couldn’t stop himself. “You know I can’t help this. I’m sorry, but our engagement was a mistake. I think we were too wrapped up in pretending we were something we weren’t, listening to Yakov and the publicist and all the other people who urged this relationship on, encouraged us to lie to the public. They made me think I needed this. Did we ever truly love each other?”

In a flash, the expression on Anna’s face flickered from sadness to rage, then back to sadness again. He’d seen this happen before, her emotions changing in an instant, but it usually wasn’t directed at him. “So now you’re questioning my love for you?” She growled, the corners of her eyes wet with tears, her face strained with emotion.

“That—that came out wrong. I’m just trying to say, I don’t think what we had was the same type of love that I feel for Yuuri. I think it was a lot of things, but, Anna, I’ve found my soulmate, and it feels so different from what we have here, don’t you understand?”

Anna shook her head, eyes narrowing, “Fuck Yuuri Katsuki, I’m your soulmate. The one you chose. That’s what you told me over and over again. You proposed to _me_ ,” she said, her voice shaking with rage, tears running down her face.

“I’m sorry,” Victor said, grabbing a blanket off the bed and tenderly wrapping it around her naked form, giving her a hug through the soft fabric. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You should go,” she said, shoving him away and sitting down on the bed, looking away from him.

“Go where? This is my room,” he laughed.

“How about go to your fucking boyfriend?” She snarled, looking back at him. “Go to your soulmate and be happy, you asshole!” she yelled.

Victor tightened the robe around himself and grabbed a blanket and a pillow, leaving the room. He didn’t know what to do after that, though. He couldn’t go to Yuuri. He didn’t feel comfortable doing that. Things between he and Yuuri were still weird, and he didn’t feel like showing up at his soulmate’s door that night, eyes filled with tears. No, Yuuri didn’t need to see this. This was between him and Anna. Victor wandered the hall, eventually coming to a decent-sized storeroom filled with extra things like blankets, towels, pillows, and sleeping mats. He pulled a few of the sleeping mats out and made himself a makeshift bed, curling up in a blanket. He didn’t want to fall asleep, but he was so exhausted that sleep claimed him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluff and happy is coming, I promise!
> 
> Sorry for the gap between updates. I went on vacation and the prep for that vacation took way more of my time than I thought it would. It should resume to twice a week again!


	8. Chapter 8

Yuuri fretted in his room. He was anxious about Victor and Anna, worried about what she’d said to him, what she knew. Had Victor told her about the kiss? Would he do that? Yuuri didn’t know how open Victor and Anna were with each other, how much they told each other. Victor never even really talked about her, and he never saw him texting her or anything. Then again, there was a time zone difference, so maybe he communicated with her late at night or early in the morning when Yuuri wasn’t around.

He curled into bed, Makkachin was hanging out in his room that night. The poodle hadn’t wanted to be around Victor and Anna’s little reunion party either, it seemed. He let the big poodle into his bed, wrapping his arms and legs around the ball of fluff, the dog content to let him cuddle. Makkachin was a great snuggler and, despite his anxiety, despite his heart pounding in his chest and all his worries making it hard to breathe, the scent of Makkachin’s fur and the solid presence of the warm dog lulled him to sleep almost immediately.

He hadn’t expected to Dream. After several nights in a row without Dreaming, he figured his luck had run out, his soulmate was gone again, wherever his soulmate went whenever they didn’t dream together. But no, this was definitely a Dream. Everything felt and looked too real, too bright, too vibrant. He was at Ice Castle Hasetsu, warm sunlight streaming in through the windows. He was watching people skate from the side when strong arms wrapped around him from behind, warm breath on his ear, a playful nibble. His soulmate was there, cozy and solid and flirty.

He turned to look, but it was as always, he couldn’t see beyond the veil of the dream. He hated it so much. Things would be so much easier if he could just _see_ his soulmate.

“Yuuri,” the man whispered in a familiar, dreamy voice. His soulmate’s voice! First a laugh, and now spoken words? And how did his soulmate know his name? Yuuri yearned to say something, but he couldn’t make the words come out. Before he could even comprehend what was happening, his soulmate kissed him. It was like when Victor had kissed him. It was even the same place. But this time, they were in a Dream, and Yuuri didn’t have to pull away, because if this was a SoulDream, then this was his soulmate. There was no denying it. This was the person he was supposed to be kissing. Why did it feel so much like he was kissing Victor? _No, stop thinking about Victor,_ he reminded himself, trying not to let the guilt take over. _Think about your soulmate._

The kiss filled him with a fire, spreading from his lips down to the hands he had wrapped around his soulmate’s muscular body, down to his groin, where he could feel his erection pressing against his soulmate as their bodies pushed against each other, desperate to get close. It didn’t embarrass him as much as he thought it would though, since he could feel his soulmate’s erection too. He suddenly felt like he was falling backwards, and before he could panic about it, he fell into a pool of hot, almost scalding water. He opened his eyes and found himself floating, staring up at the stars. They were in the bath, and they were both naked. He looked around. They had the whole place to themselves. His soulmate looked his way, laughing and splashing water at him. He pushed the man up against the side of the bath and climbed into his lap, kissing him as it snowed around them, the steam from the baths rising around them.

They fell again and they were in a bed, tangled in sheets, their skin dry but their bodies still naked.

His soulmate broke the kiss and for one tiny, minuscule second, he thought he saw a flash of blue eyes, of silver hair. It was impossible, he must have been imagining things. His soulmate shook his head, “I don’t want our first time to be in a Dream,” his soulmate whispered into his ear, his voice so familiar. Yuuri whined in complaint. He didn’t care at that point. He’d waited for so long. Why keep waiting? Why did it matter if it was in a Dream? He clawed at his soulmate’s arms, trying to pull him back. His soulmate laughed, laying down beside him, kissing him again, running his hands down Yuuri’s body. Everywhere he touched felt electrified, like his nerves were working overtime to handle all the sensations.

They pressed up against each other, their erections touching each other, all skin-on-skin, and Yuuri ached to do more with his soulmate, more than kiss, more than this small contact, which was so warm and so right. His hands found hair as he pulled his soulmate’s face closer to his, never wanting to stop kissing, feeling braver as he ran his hands down the man’s body, squeezing his ass. The man groaned, then let out a satisfied laugh and they were back to kissing. Yuuri sucked at his soulmate’s bottom lip and the man let out a moan, turning Yuuri around so he could spoon against him, his erection pressing into Yuuri’s back.

“Yuuri,” the man whispered into Yuuri’s ear, that Russian accent, the way he said his name, there was no mistaking Victor’s voice in his Dream. “My soulmate.”

Yuuri didn’t know whether he’d fallen asleep in the Dream or just woken up, but when he blinked his eyes open, he was in his own bed, sunlight streaming through the windows, his entire body aching with need as his erection strained at his underwear. He closed his eyes and rubbed at them with the heels of his hands, wiping away tears. Impossibly, somehow, Victor was his soulmate. How could this be? How could he have been so stupid? How could Victor have lied to him?

* * * * *

Victor awoke with a smile on his face. That had been a very nice Dream. And he’d been able to speak to Yuuri. Even if it wasn’t much, he’d been able to use his voice. Surely Yuuri recognized it. Surely he would know by now.

He sat up, confused for a moment., then remembered he was still in the storage room. No wonder his back was aching. He was used to his soft bed. He groaned as he thought of the previous night’s events with Anna. First he needed to see Yuuri. He needed to make things right, to tell him the whole story. And right away, before anything else.

Pulling the previous night’s bathrobe around himself and tying the belt, Victor rushed to Yuuri’s room, not bothering to go into his own. He didn’t want to see Anna this morning.

He stood outside the door and took a deep breath. _Now or never, you idiot_. His heart was pounding in his chest. His cheeks felt hot. He knocked on the door. No response. He knocked again, harder. “Yuuri?” Maybe Yuuri was a heavy sleeper? Still no answer. He tried the knob and it turned. He pushed the door open slowly, peering inside. Yuuri’s bed was empty.

“Fuck,” he sighed as he pushed the door open the rest of the way. Yep, the room was empty. Even his dog was nowhere to be seen. Where would Yuuri have gone? Would Yuuri have gone to his room and seen Anna? Was she still naked? No, he didn’t want to think of that. He needed to go find Yuuri, but not in a bathrobe, and he sure as hell wasn’t going back to his room to deal with Anna. Luckily, Yuuri was somewhat messy, and there were clothes strewn around the room. He salvaged a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from Yuuri’s laundry, hastily dressed, then rushed downstairs.

Yuuri’s mom was cleaning and polishing the dining tables when Victor crashed down the stairs, hair a mess, looking crazed. “Where’s Yuuri?” Victor asked her, running a hand through silver hair.

“I think he went for a run, you just missed him maybe by five minutes. Is everything okay? He looked upset.”

Victor swore under his breath, “It’s fine, it’ll be fine, thanks,” he went to the door and pulled on his shoes.

Outside, he paused. He knew he had two logical directions to take. He could go to Ice Castle Hasetsu or the beach. He knew Yuuri liked to skate when he was anxious, but he thought he remembered seeing Yuuri’s skates in his room, so the beach seemed like a logical choice for a run. He took off down sidewalk at a run. Yuuri’s stamina meant that he could run longer distances, but Victor had speed on the younger man. If he pushed himself, maybe he could catch up. Hopefully he’d chosen the right direction.

He passed the showers and took the steps two at a time to the beach, the loose sand annoyingly slowing his pace. He made his way to the shoreline where it was easier to run, then took off, hoping, praying that he was going the right way. He was following their usual direction, the one they took when they went for morning jogs with Makkachin. Victor scoured the sand as he ran, in search of footprints, looking for something, _anything_ to show him he was on the right path. Every time he saw a minor divot in the sand, his heart swelled with hope. He had to be going the right way. He could _feel_ it.

Seagulls cried and wheeled and the water lapped at the sand as he ran, his limbs aching as he pushed himself to the limits limits of his speed and endurance. He wasn’t used to running full out for this long of a distance. Most of the time they were out on the beach they just jogged this path. Every footfall into the sand felt more difficult, the wet ground resisting his steps. He was having a hard time catching his breath and he didn’t know if it from the physical exertion or the anxiety he felt. It was worse than any sort of stage fright or performance anxiety he’d ever experienced. What if, after everything, Yuuri rejected him? He didn’t know what he would do.

Victor saw a shape ahead of him and his heart, somehow, impossibly, began to beat faster. He wanted to shout, but he couldn’t get a deep enough breath to make a sound. He kept running, despite his complaining body, and he saw that it wasn’t a mirage. It really was Yuuri, standing on the beach, looking out over the water, hand on Makkachin’s head, the poodle sitting beside him, panting happily. His body surged with adrenaline, the last bit of energy he had filling his veins, powering his muscles as he ran to Yuuri.

“Yuuri!” He exclaimed as he got close, stopping behind him, hands on his knees, panting, trying to catch his breath. He looked up but Yuuri hadn’t even turned to look at him.

“Yuuri?” This time he made it a question as he stepped toward his soulmate, putting a hand on his shoulder. Yuuri pulled away, still not turning to look at him. Victor moved in front of Yuuri, anxious to see his face.

“What’s wrong?” Victor asked immediately when he saw Yuuri, face puffy and red, the remains of tears still moistening his cheeks.

Yuuri wiped at his nose and looked away.

Heart tightening, once more, Victor felt like he couldn’t breathe, and it wasn’t anything to do with the run he’d just taken. Why was Yuuri crying? Shouldn’t he be happy to know that Victor was his soulmate? Or did he not realize it still? Did he not recognize Victor’s voice in his Dream? His kisses? His body? Or worse, had Victor’s worst fears come true? Victor reached for Yuuri’s hands and was surprised when Yuuri didn’t pull away. Victor wrapped his hands around Yuuri’s, but Yuuri didn’t make any attempt to hold them back. They were lifeless. He didn’t look up, and he didn’t meet Victor’s eyes.

“Yuuri, I’m your soulmate,” Victor said, squeezing Yuuri’s hands.

Yuuri pulled his hands away and looked up at Victor, fresh tears in his eyes. “I’m not stupid, I know that after last night!” His eyes were narrowed and hot with anger, the tears falling as he shouted at Victor. “What I can’t figure out is how you could be so _selfish_ all this time! How you could lie to me!”

“Huh?” Victor asked. Yes, this was the worst case scenario. Yuuri was pissed at him, and he didn’t know how to respond.

“From the moment I saw you on television,” Yuuri said, wiping at his eyes, “I knew you had to be my soulmate. I loved you.”

Victor’s heart thudded in his chest, Yuuri loved him! It wasn’t the worst case scenario after all! “I lo—“

“When I was growing up, I told any friends and family that would listen that I had a soulmate and that soulmate was Victor fucking Nikiforov. When you started dating Anna, I thought it was just a fling. Most people have those, it’s not uncommon. I didn’t think much of it. I was busy trying to become stronger, trying to show you at the Grand Prix Finals that I could be your equal, that I could be worthy of you. Then, a year ago, you announced your engagement to your _soulmate_. I was devastated. I felt _so_ stupid. And I thought, surely I had to be wrong, right? Surely Victor wouldn’t go in front of the world and announce his engagement to his soulmate when she wasn’t actually his soulmate, right? Can you imagine how I felt?”

“I—“

“Then you came here,”he said, more tears falling. All Victor wanted to do was wipe them away, to hug Yuuri and tell him he loved him and apologize over an over until he forgave him. To tell Yuuri about how stupid he’d been, how wrong he’d been, and that he would do whatever Yuuri wanted. “You came here and the Dreams started, and I didn’t know what to do. Then you kissed me. And I felt so guilty. I felt like I had betrayed my soulmate, then I find out that _you’re_ my soulmate? And you didn’t even care to tell me? What sort of game are you playing at, Victor? What do you _want_ from me?”

Victor gaped at Yuuri and looked down at the two sets of tears wetting the sand. “I never meant to hurt you,” he said, wiping at his eyes.

Yuuri looked away, “You never think of anyone but yourself.”

“That’s not true,” Victor said. “How can you be so cruel, Yuuri?”

“This is your fault, Victor! You did this!” Yuuri shouted again. “Don’t make me the bad guy here! You’re the bad guy!” Victor looked at him, his blue eyes wide, tears tracking down his cheeks, hot and wet.

“I didn’t mean to. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t think I had a soulmate, and I thought Anna made me happy. I thought I loved her. The publicist Yakov hired said it would be better if we said we were soulmates, that way no one would try to interfere in our relationship. But I don’t love her. I love _you._ You’re my soulmate, and I want to be with you. If you’ll have me.” He looked back down at the sand, wiping at his face with his arm. It was silent, other than the sounds of the sea.

“Are those my pants?” Yuuri asked suddenly. “And my shirt?”

Victor looked up in shock. Yuuri seemed to find something amusing. “I’m sorry,” Victor said, giving a weak smile and scratching at the back of his head, “I didn’t have anything to wear, and my room was…occupied.”

Yuuri’s face darkened. “We didn’t sleep together,” Victor said, holding up his hands in front of him. “She wanted to, but I left the room. I should have come to you and told you everything, but I was a coward and I slept in a storage room. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to need more than that,” Yuuri said, his eyes still tinged with anger and sadness. “An apology just won’t cut it. I’m still mad at you. You fucked up big time. You betrayed me. You betrayed your soulmate.”

“I’ll do whatever you want,” Victor said, wondering if it would be too much to attempt performing _dogeza,_ but decided against it. He didn’t want to get Yuuri’s sweatpants all covered in sand.

“Let’s go back and clean up and eat something,” Yuuri said turning and heading back toward the onsen.

“Wait Yuuri, what else do I have to do to apologize?” Victor asked, following behind him, Makkachin at the rear. “Yuuri!”

Yuuri didn’t answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri finally knows! I originally wrote this chapter way differently and I feel like the rewrite is way better and was much needed.
> 
> I've been updating so much slower than I wanted to! Augh! Feel free to yell at me over on tumblr at yurionicecapades.tumblr.com if I'm going too slow. I don't post much but I'm around, lurking. Procrastinating. :P 
> 
> As always, thank you to everyone that's reading, commenting, sharing, leaving kudos, all those things! I love you all!


	9. Chapter 9

Yuuri and Victor walked back to the onsen in silence. Yuuri didn’t know what he wanted to say to Victor. He was still full of so many conflicting emotions. The angry part of him wanted to hit Victor, just slap him across the face for lying, for hurting him. The part of him that loved Victor wanted to pull him down to the sand and ravish him right there on the beach. The hurt and damaged part of him just wanted nothing to do with the man. That part kept telling him that Victor wouldn’t really love him anyway, that he would leave as soon as he got the chance.

It all felt so strange to Yuuri. He should have seen this, and he felt like an idiot. He’d trusted Victor so blindly, trusted that Victor was some sort of perfect being, godlike in his integrity, that everything he said was to be taken as an almighty Truth. But even Victor could lie. Even Victor was a mortal. He still didn’t know what to think of that. It was like his entire world had been shattered. It was stupid, of course, and he knew that, but it still didn’t stop him from feeling that way. He and Victor had grown so close over the past few months. They’d spent almost every waking moment together, skated together, ate together, even bathed together in the hot spring. Yuuri had felt that closeness, felt a bond forming that was stronger than anything he’d felt with anyone else before. But Victor still hadn’t told him the truth about Anna, even when he’d had ample opportunities. Did Victor not trust him?

He wiped away another tear that was threatening to fall as they climbed the stairs to the street. Yuuri knew he loved Victor. He’d loved the man for what felt like ages, ever since he’d seen Victor skate on TV. But did Victor actually love him back? Sure, Victor said he did, and when he’d said that, Yuuri’s heart felt like it was going to burst with happiness. He hadn’t known what to say, how to properly respond. He hadn’t been expecting Victor to confess. But Victor was Victor and he said things like that, and now Yuuri had to question it, because he had to question everything good that ever happened to him. He always felt like he didn’t deserve actual happiness.

Yuuri looked back at Victor, who smiled at him. Yuuri took a moment to appreciate it. It was different from the gleaming Victor smile that Yuuri was accustomed to seeing on TV or for strangers. This was a smile that he’d only seen when Victor gave it to him. How hadn’t he realized it before? Yuuri never saw Victor give this smile to anyone else. It wasn’t as wide as the ones he gave the reporters and people asking for autographs. That smile was all teeth and flash and glimmer. That smile was a mask. That was the smile he’d given Yuuri the night he’d shown up in the onsen and told him he’d be his coach. The smile Victor gave him now was sincere and full of love and admiration. The way his lips curved made Yuuri want to melt, do anything for him, just kiss him forever. Yuuri wondered if he gave Anna this smile.

Anna. His thoughts kept coming back to her as they walked. What was Victor going to do about her? She obviously still wanted Victor, thought she could win him back. Even if they hadn’t slept together, would that be enough to persuade her to just give up and leave? Yuuri didn’t think so. Somehow he didn’t think it would be that easy to just get rid of her.

They were getting close to the onsen, just another corner and a couple blocks left to go. Yuuri didn’t know what was going to happen when they got back. Things just felt so awkward at the moment, and Yuuri didn’t know what to do about it. He was beginning to feel anxious, his heart tight in his chest.

“Yuuri,” Victor said behind him. He stopped and turned to look back at Victor, sweaty, hair messy, eyes red from crying. He was wearing Yuuri’s sweatpants, which were too short for him so they rode almost halfway up his calves. And he somehow looked better in that t-shirt than Yuuri ever could. Even like this, Victor was god-like. How could this man, perfect even in imperfection, be his soulmate? Yuuri wondered how he could have gotten so lucky.

Makkachin faithfully sat, panting as Victor stepped to Yuuri and wrapped his arms around him. Yuuri wanted to stay angry, he wanted to pull away and tell him off again, but he couldn’t do it anymore. He loved Victor, and he couldn’t stay mad at this man who was obviously hurting too. Yuuri could tell by the way he hugged him, his arms hesitant, like he was afraid to pull Yuuri too close, afraid Yuuri might get upset and pull away. But when Yuuri put his own arms around Victor and hugged him back, Victor’s grip on his soulmate strengthened until they were both hugging each other more tightly than either of them had hugged anyone ever before. Yuuri couldn’t contain a sob as he shook in Victor’s arms and Victor whispered into his ear over and over again, “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

Yuuri didn’t want to let go, but he knew that if he didn’t, Victor never would. He relaxed his arms and took a half step back so he could see Victor’s face. Victor smiled again, so much love in his expression, and before he could think about it, before he could question it or second-guess himself, Yuuri kissed his soulmate, pressed his lips against Victor’s as they stood on the deserted sidewalk.

Victor responded immediately to the kiss, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s waist, pulling him close again, soft lips parting, his tongue finding its way into Yuuri’s mouth, Yuuri’s own tongue tasting Victor’s mouth, salty from crying. He could feel Victor’s arousal pressed against him, just like in their Dream. Yuuri blushed just thinking about it, since he was also hard with need, unable to hide it as Victor pulled him close. Yuuri didn’t have time to be embarrassed as heat spread from his lips down through his entire body, his heart racing. He could feel Victor’s heart too, beating fast and hard in his chest as they pressed against each other, Yuuri’s hands dangerously close to finding their way into Victor’s borrowed sweatpants. Yuuri’s first waking kiss had been with Victor, and this was his second. The kisses in his Dreams had been with Victor. It had always been with Victor. He still felt like he had no idea what he was doing, yet he felt Victor responding to him, felt Victor’s need, his hunger for more, and thought he must be doing something right.

It was Victor that pulled away this time, both of them panting. When Yuuri looked into Victor’s eyes, they were filled with something too dangerous for the public street. Victor looked like he wanted to fuck him right then and there, and Yuuri would have had a hard time saying no to a face like that, those dark, lustful eyes. Victor rested his forehead on Yuuri’s, his hands on Yuuri’s hips, steady and insistent, “Let’s get back to the onsen,” he said, his voice rough.

“Y-yeah,” Yuuri squeaked, face hot. What were they _doing_? They were lucky the street was empty this time of morning. Lucky that Hasetsu was a sleepy town.

They walked the rest of the way hand-in-hand, as Yuuri tried to calm himself before they got back to the onsen.

* * * * *

Victor couldn’t believe it. Had Yuuri forgiven him? No, not quite. That was too good to be true, but at least it seemed like Yuuri wasn’t so mad anymore? He was painfully aware of his erection inside the sweatpants he’d borrowed from Yuuri. He wasn’t wearing any underwear underneath them, and it made things a little more obvious than he would have liked. He tried to think about skating routines or physics or something, anything to keep his mind off the hand holding Yuuri’s as they walked back to his family’s hot spring hotel. Anything to keep his mind off the heat traveling up his hand, twisting through his heart and down to his groin. Yuuri’s hand, they were walking in public, holding hands. He felt like he might float away if he didn’t squeeze Yuuri’s hand tight enough.

As they walked up to the front door of the onsen, Yuuri’s sister, Mari, was standing off to the side, smoking a cigarette. Victor generally liked Mari. She was blunt and honest, though sometimes a little too much. You always knew what you were getting with Mari, though. She didn’t play any games. “Well, you both look like shit,” she said, taking a drag on her cigarette. She looked down at their clasped hands and Yuuri gave Victor’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Thanks, sis,” Yuuri said, pushing past her. She stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at his older sister. But Mari wasn’t looking at Yuuri. She was looking at Victor.

“Your fiancee is in your room. She wants to talk to you and only you,” Mari said.

Victor took a deep breath and reluctantly let go of Yuuri’s hand. “Why only me?”

Mari shrugged and put out her cigarette in the ash tray. “Honestly? I think she’s embarrassed. That’s the impression I got when I talked to her.”

_She should be after last night_ , Victor thought, running a hand through his hair. “Thanks, I’m sorry about this whole mess. I’ll get it sorted out so we don’t cause any more trouble.”

Mari gave him a nod and they walked inside, taking off their shoes.

“Wait for me,” he told Yuuri as he headed upstairs. “I’ll get this sorted out then come back to you.” Victor wanted to kiss Yuuri, but half of his soulmate’s family was in the lobby and he chickened out at the last minute and just awkwardly wavered in front of him before turning and walking to his room. Since when was he so nervous around Yuuri and his family? He’d been affectionate to Yuuri plenty of times before.

When he got to the room, he realized he didn’t have a key, so he knocked on the door. Anna opened it, “You look like shit,” she said.

“So I’ve heard,” Victor sighed. She looked just like she always did, well-rested and put together, perfect makeup and hair. Then again, she’d had a nice, soft bed to sleep on, and hadn’t had to go on an unplanned morning jog in borrowed clothes. “Do you want me to come in?”

She nodded and let him into the room, closing the door behind him. At least she was wearing clothes this time.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Anna said, sitting down on the bed. “I was being kind of an idiot, wasn’t I?”

Victor shook his head and sat down beside her. “I could have handled things better on my end. It didn’t have to be like this. You deserved better. But you also deserve better overall. Yuuri’s my soulmate, and I know yours is out there somewhere. You deserve to find that person.”

“Yeah,” she said, “About that.” She blushed and looked away.

Victor gave her a curious look.

“My whole life I’ve never had Dreams. I’ve always thought that anyway. You know how it was, little snippets here and there, weird feelings when you wake up, a stray dream that might be a Dream or might not be. But for the first time, I _know_ I had a Dream last night,” she said, giving him a guilty smile.

“Y-you what?!” Victor asked in disbelief. Something crept into his chest along with her words, making his heart feel tight. What was this all the sudden?

Her eyes sparkled as she gushed, “I had a Dream, an honest to god SoulDream. Isn’t it amazing? I followed you all the way here and then I have the most spectacular Dream. Victor, it was so real, it was…now I know. Now I realize why you acted the way you did when you realized Yuuri was your soulmate. I want to keep having these Dreams forever.”

“It’s almost better than real life, isn’t it? Want to tell me about it?” He actually secretly hoped she would say no. He didn’t want to hear about her Dream. All sorts of thoughts were running through his head. Was some shitty part of him deep inside actually jealous that Anna was having SoulDreams now? He shouldn’t feel this way at all. He had Yuuri, so why was he jealous? Anna deserved to be happy. But he’d loved Anna at one time, he sort of still did, in the way that he would always love her. He loved the memories, the time they’d spent together, the things they’d shared. Those memories would never go away, and it was healthier to just remember them fondly rather than try to scour them from his memory, right? What good would it do to pretend that his life with Anna had never happened?

Anna was oblivious to his inner conflict, “Well, I’m in this classroom. I don’t know where, because I didn’t recognize it, but I’m at a desk all by myself. You know those school desks, where the desk part and the chair are connected?”

Victor nodded. Yep, he was getting the story. Well, he _had_ asked.

“So I’m sitting at the desk in this empty classroom and I realize I forgot to do my homework. I feel so embarrassed! And then, like magic, the desk turns into a giant snake, like a cobra or something, and I’m sitting on its tail as it rears up and tries to attack me. I fall off and roll to the side and it barely misses me. And it’s rearing up to attack again and this man appears out of nowhere. I can’t see his face, but he pulls me in his muscular arms and saves me from the snake. And he has a whip, like Indiana Jones or something,” she laughed, “He cracks the whip at the snake and it slithers off, and there I am, in his arms, and he kisses me. Victor, no offense, but this was the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life.”

“None taken,” Victor says, his voice a little rougher than he anticipated it would be. He cleared his throat and let her continue.

“That’s pretty much it. We didn’t get to talk or anything. Though there was some more kissing. Oh, and I could have sworn he called me a ‘Shiela.’ Isn’t that an Australian thing?”

Victor nodded. Her first real Dream and she got a kiss and got to hear her soulmate’s voice? She didn’t know how lucky she was. “So now what?”

“Well, I guess I’ll head to Australia? I’m already on vacation. I’m probably going to tour Japan for a few more days, see if I can get any more information from my Dreams, then go on my way to try to find him. Australia’s a pretty big place.”

“T-that’s great,” Victor said, giving her a smile.

She gave him a weird look, “What? What’s wrong? Do you think I’m being stupid? Crazy? Both?”

Victor shook his head, “No, of course not, I just…”

“What?” She cocked her head at him.

“I just didn’t realize quite how much I’d miss you,” he said, looking down so he was mostly just talking to his lap.

Anna paused and he looked up. She was narrowing her eyebrows at him. “So you’re just now realizing that I’m not yours anymore, huh?”

Victor put his hands up in front of him in a gesture of denial, “No, that’s not it!”

“You’ve finally realized that this is permanent. That there’s no going back. That I’m moving on and you’re moving on and we won’t be together anymore.”

Victor shifted uneasily and looked away. “Well when you put it the way…”

“Victor,” Anna said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked at her. She was smiling. “I know you better than anyone, except maybe Yuuri. You’re going to be fine, okay? And we’re going to be friends still. I’ll always love you and the time we spent together. We’ll always have that. And don’t worry, we’ll see each other again.”

“Promise?” He asked, wiping at his eyes.

“Oh god, you’re going to make me cry too,” she said, sniffing. “Of course I promise, you big baby. Our paths will definitely cross again. Now, about this whole soulmates mess between us. We need to clear things up so both of us can move on. Call Yakov, call the publicist, whatever you need to do. If I need to make a statement or do an interview or sign something, let me know, okay?”

Victor nodded as she kissed his cheek and got up, grabbing her rolling suitcase and purse. Victor followed her out of the room and downstairs, where she said goodbye, hugging a confused Yuuri and wishing him the best of luck. “Call me if you ever have any questions about him,” she said, winking and slipping a slip of paper into his hand. Yuuri’s face flushed crimson as the both of them watched her walk out the door. She didn’t even want Victor to help her to the train station. “I need some fresh air and time alone to think about things,” she said, giving him a wink and a smile.

“So that was not quite what I was expecting,” Yuuri said, staring after her.

Victor pulled Yuuri’s hand into his own and squeezed. “Definitely not.” He smiled at Yuuri and asked, “Now how about that bath?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a while! Before I started posting chapters, I had most of this story written, but this one ended up being all new content. 
> 
> Wrapping up some loose ends so we can fully enjoy the next chapter, which is finally going to be the smut y'all have been waiting for! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ 
> 
> I hope to have the next chapter finished and up within a week! I really do! I'm as excited to finish this story as y'all are excited to read the conclusion. It's probably going to be about two more chapters until it's done. 
> 
> As always, enjoy, and I enjoy feedback and comments! And if you're bored or want me to write faster, come bug me on tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/yurionicecapades


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! It took me a while to finish this one. (I'm still new at writing sex. Why did I decide to write sex? What's wrong with me?) It's longer than any other chapter so that's good, right? Enjoy!

Victor couldn’t wait to get Yuuri into the outdoor hot spring. They disrobed and rinsed off, both still feeling gross from their sweaty morning run and dealings with Anna. They climbed into the water together, everything feeling new and exciting and different even though they’d done this nearly every day. The scalding water felt extra nice on Victor’s worn-out body, instantly relaxing him and making his tight muscles feel better. When had he gotten so old that he needed to soak in hot water after a run? What would he do when he had to leave this place for the Grand Prix series with Yuuri? He had grown way too accustomed to soaking in the healing waters of the bath every day with Yuuri by his side.

Yuuri was blushing way more than usual and Victor knew why. Their Dream the previous night had been full of a lot of fantasies Victor would love to entertain. They held hands under the water as they soaked and when the other lone bather finished up and left, they had the place to themselves. Victor pulled Yuuri into his lap and kissed him, wrapping his arms around Yuuri to hold him in place, more than a little excited to have Yuuri’s lips on his again, making him feel warmer than any hot bath. He didn’t think he would ever get tired of kissing Yuuri. He grinned up at the red-faced Yuuri and brought his hand down Yuuri’s back and around to his cock, rubbing the tip with his thumb.

“Victor, you can’t, not here,” he breathed into Victor’s ear as his whole body tightened in Victor’s embrace.

“Why not?” Victor asked mischievously.

“It’s my _family’s_ hot spring. I’m not going to foul the waters.”

Victor laughed and released Yuuri’s erection after one more quick squeeze, delighting in the way Yuuri reacted to his touch. “Not fair,” Yuuri said, nipping at Victor’s ear.

Victor felt his body react to Yuuri’s forwardness and growled, “ _I’m_ not being fair? Okay, I can’t wait any longer.” He lifted Yuuri as he stood and set him on the edge of the pool. He climbed out beside him and they dried off, donning their robes before they went upstairs. At the top of the stairs, Yuuri didn’t seem to know which room to go to, but Victor grabbed his hand and pulled him toward his room.

Victor had requested fresh bedding before their bath, not wanting Anna’s scent to be anywhere when he came back. He hadn’t known for sure if he would be bringing Yuuri back, but he’d wanted to be prepared just in case. The bath had made up his mind for him. They were soulmates. They loved each other, and Victor wanted to make Yuuri feel good in ways he’d never felt before. Victor pulled a blushing Yuuri to his bed. He didn’t think he would ever get over how adorable Yuuri was when his face was pink, which was pretty much every time Victor touched him. He pulled Yuuri into his lap again and kissed him, happily aware of how naked the both of them were under those fluffy green robes, how naked Yuuri was sitting in his lap, accidental brushes of skin here and there just adding to his arousal.

Yuuri’s kisses were hot and tentative, but when he got into it, he would suck on Victor’s bottom lip with a light nibble and then his tongue would work its way into Victor’s mouth and it was all he could do to keep from pushing Yuuri into the bed and ravaging him.

“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Yuuri whispered into Victor’s neck as he kissed him, lightly sucking on his skin. Victor returned the gesture, sucking hard enough that he hoped it would leave a mark, at least for a couple days. Yuuri let out a moan of pleasure under his mouth.

“Yuuri, I need to ask, how—have you—?”

Yuuri paused, looking away, “I haven’t. I told you. I was saving my firsts for my soulmate.”

Victor felt a pang of guilt run through him, tears forming in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Yuuri,” Victor choked out.

Yuuri gave him a confused look, then shook his head, waving his palms up in front of him, “It’s okay, Victor, it’s fine. I wasn’t expecting—I mean, it was kind of stupid of me, wasn’t it? Most people experiment before they meet their soulmates.”

“I failed you,” Victor said, taking Yuuri’s hands in his and rubbing small circles in the back of them with his thumbs. “I didn’t believe in it. I got impatient.” He knew Yuuri would be okay with it, but it still made him feel bad to know that Yuuri had waited for his soulmate while Victor had squandered all of his firsts with others, mostly Anna. When he’d been younger, he’d wanted to save himself for his soulmate too, wanted to keep himself pure, but the longer he’d waited, the dreams so infrequent, the less romantic he’d felt about the whole SoulDreams thing, the less he’d cared.

“Victor, do you think I care about that?” Yuuri laughed. “I don’t care how many people you’ve fucked. I just want us to fuck now, and for the rest of our lives.

Victor smiled. He loved this side of Yuuri. The forward, Eros side of him that would sometimes sneak out in the most surprising of ways. “I think we can manage that,” Victor growled, kissing Yuuri again, then undoing the belt of his robe and tugging at Yuuri’s robe to open his too. They slid the robes off of each other, and then they were on the bed, Victor on top of Yuuri, the feel of skin-on-skin contact so electrifying that he had to think about something else for a few seconds to calm himself down. Three months without sex, but what about Yuuri? If Yuuri, a virgin, could handle himself, then he should be able to too, right?

He realized he really was going to take Yuuri’s virginity that night. He thought maybe he should feel bad about it, but it was the opposite. He felt proud, almost. Proud of his Yuuri, his student. Victor was eager to become even closer to his soulmate.

* * * * *

Yuuri didn’t know the first thing about what he was supposed to do in bed, but Victor saw to that quick enough. His biggest fear was that he would finish way before Victor, that he would be a disappointment, but if Yuuri had one thing, it was stamina, and he intended to make full use of that attribute.

“What do I do?” Yuuri asked, surprised he could find words with Victor on top of him, kissing his neck, his erection pressed into his hip. Yuuri strained with excitement. He still didn’t know if he believed he was about to have sex with Victor or even the fact that Victor was actually his soulmate. He feared he might wake up the next morning and realize it was all just a regular, ordinary dream. That this was all just a product of an overactive imagination.

Victor put a finger to his lips, “Don’t worry, I’ll show you. For now, just enjoy yourself. Tonight I get to pleasure you. Think of it as my apology.” He went back to kissing, trailing a line of kisses down Yuuri’s chest, stopping to lick and nibble at Yuuri’s nipples, making him gasp and twitch with pleasure. He made his way down to the inside line of Yuuri’s hip, the kisses tickling him and arousing him at the same time. He hadn’t known it was possible for him to be even more aroused, but Victor managed to make it happen.

He tilted his head to look down at Victor and stared into his icy blue eyes, those beautiful lips dangerously close to his cock. “What are you—?” Yuuri started when Victor’s mouth found the head of his arousal, giving it a quick but firm suck, then releasing it just as fast. An involuntary moan of pleasure escaped Yuuri’s mouth and he closed his eyes, his hands bunching the sheets in their search for something to hold onto. He looked back down a Victor, who had a devious look on his face.

“Did you like that?” Victor asked.

Yuuri nodded tentatively, not trusting himself to speak.

Victor brought his mouth around Yuuri’s erection again, the inside of his mouth so hot and wet. Somehow, Victor managed to bring the entirety of his erection into his mouth and Yuuri felt intense pleasure run through his whole body as Victor sucked. He screwed his eyes shut, trying to breathe, his mind unable to think about anything other than Victor, his soulmate, sucking his dick. He hadn’t even been brazen enough to fantasize about this while masturbating. It felt _so good_. He had to stop himself from instinctively trying to thrust into Victor’s mouth. “Aaaah Victor,” He gasped out, his voice a whimper, “I—I—“ He didn’t know what to say, how to say it, that he was about to come in Victor’s mouth. Victor stopped and Yuuri felt like he could breathe again, then Victor was back on top of him, kissing his lips. Yuuri could taste himself in Victor’s mouth.

“I’m not ready for you to finish yet,” Victor said, grinning at him as he tried to catch his breath. He’d been so close, and he hadn’t really wanted Victor to stop. Victor went back to the kisses and teasing, working his way back up to Yuuri’s chest, then shoulders, up his neck to his ears. He smiled at Yuuri.

Yuuri took the chance to roll over on top of Victor, surprising the silver-haired man. “My turn,” Yuuri said, kissing Victor, following the same path Victor had taken down his own body. When he stopped at Victor’s nipples, he bit a little harder than Victor had, and relished in the way the man’s body arched and responded to his actions, the way he sucked in a breath of surprise. He could get used to this, having Victor underneath him, the man he’d once thought a God squirming and gasping underneath him. It made him want to do more. So much more.

When he reached Victor’s cock, he marveled in its size. He’d seen it before, plenty of times, but never when it was this big, this swollen with his need, the head already slick with precum. He loved that he had this effect on Victor. That he’d been the one to cause this response in the man’s body. But he had no idea how he was going to fit all of this in his mouth.

He gave it a tentative lick up the shaft to the head and Victor let out the smallest of moans when he reached the sensitive rim, his cock jerking slightly. Victor had his eyes closed and Yuuri grinned. An experienced man like Victor still responded just like Yuuri, the virgin, did? At that moment, he realized this would be even more fun than he’d hoped. He’d been worried about Victor being so far ahead of him, so much more experienced than him, that he would never be able to keep up or to hold his own, but it seemed like, in the bedroom, Victor was just as responsive, just as needy, just as eager as Yuuri, and this excited him to no end.

Yuuri wrapped his lips around Victor’s cock and felt his response in his mouth as he sucked, drawing Victor deeper and deeper inside his mouth until he had to back off. Victor’s precum was salty in his mouth and he yearned to taste more, as much of Victor as he could. He ran his tongue over the tender, responsive flesh as Victor moaned and clawed at the blankets, running his hands through Yuuri’s hair as he sucked, feeling Victor’s pleasure build until he was moaning at him to stop. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to taste Victor’s cum as he exploded into his mouth, but Victor was pulling him up into another long kiss, tasting themselves in each other’s mouths.

“You’re such a good student,” Victor chuckled, arms around him in a way that made him want to be held there forever, to not leave, to just lay in this bliss, even though his cock was throbbing with need. “You seem more experienced than I expected. You weren’t lying about your virginity were you?”

Yuuri blushed and laughed, “I have access to the internet, you know.” Once he’d heard his soulmate’s laugh, once he’d known that his soulmate was a man, he’d done some pretty extensive research, just in case he needed to put any of it to use. He was happy that he’d done it.

Victor giggled and tried to roll back on top but Yuuri pushed his shoulders into the bed and kept him there. “I thought I was supposed to be pleasuring you today,” Victor whined.

“Don’t worry about me. I told you that apology wasn’t going to be easy.” Yuuri kissed him again, ignoring the confused look on Victor’s face. He was about to be even more confused in a few seconds. Yuuri relished in the thought of catching Victor by surprise. Victor was so used to being the one to surprise people, but not this time.

Yuuri tentatively moved his hand down Victor’s body, over his tight ass, and down to his entrance, watching the man’s surprised expression. “Wait, Yuuri, are you sure about this?” Victor asked.

“What do you mean?” He asked. Victor sat up and pulled Yuuri’s hand away, holding it in his gentle, firm hands.

“Well, I just thought I was going to be the top,” Victor chuckled, letting go and running a hand through his silver hair.

Yuuri blushed and stuttered, “B-b-but I wanted to be the top. Is that okay?” Where had his confidence gone all of the sudden?

Victor laughed again and looked away, “I can’t say no to that face. I guess I just always assumed…but it doesn’t matter to me that much. I’ve never done this before either.”

Yuuri gaped at him, feeling dumb. “But you and Anna—“

“Never did _this_ ,” he smiled. “I’m just as new at it as you are.”

“Oh,” Yuuri said, then he laughed. Of course not. Why would they need to? “That’s great!”

Victor pulled Yuuri into a tight embrace and kissed him. Yuuri felt a wave of relief wash over him. He wasn’t going to be the only one that didn’t know what he was doing. It was like a weight had been lifted. One he hadn’t even noticed before.

“I just realized we don’t have any…” Yuuri trailed off and flushed. He didn’t know how to say it, or maybe he was too embarrassed to say it.

“Oh, right,” Victor said, reaching over to the bedside table and pulling open a drawer. He pulled out a small tube of something and handed it to Yuuri. Yuuri looked at it dumbly. “You wanted to be on top. Do you know what to do with it?”

“O-of course I do,” Yuuri sputtered, that anxiety coming back again already. Why had he thought this would be a good idea? He was actually doing this. He was about to fuck Victor and he had no clue what he was doing. But he wanted to be the one to do it, and if he didn’t figure out his shit fast, Victor would take over.

He opened the tube and squeezed it out onto his shaking finger. He accidentally squeezed too hard and not only did it land on his finger, but it also landed on Victor’s stomach and the blanket beside him.

“Calm down,” Victor said, smiling up at Yuuri and taking his hand. “You don’t have to be so nervous, okay?”

“But you’re so calm,” Yuuri said, looking down at the mess he’d made, wondering if he should leave it or try to wipe it up. He rubbed the lube between his finger and his thumb, fascinated by the slipperiness of the liquid. Where did he even get this? When? Had he planned on this? Well, he had known for several days before Yuuri had found out. It shouldn’t surprise Yuuri that Victor might have planned for it.

“You think I’m calm?” Victor asked. “Yuuri, I’m just as nervous as you, I just hide it better,” he said, pulling Yuuri’s clean hand forward and putting it on his chest. Yuuri could feel Victor’s heart racing just as fast as his own. “We can figure this out together, okay? We’re in this together.”

Yuuri nodded and leaned down, putting his hand next to Victor’s head, kissing his soulmate again as he moved the other hand, slick with lube, down to Victor’s entrance, one finger tentatively resting there, waiting. He looked into Victor’s eyes and Victor nodded, “Put it in.”

* * * * *

Victor had never played with himself before, not like that, not with his fingers. When he’d bought the lube, he’d bought it expecting to use it on Yuuri, to use it to fuck Yuuri, not the other way around. He still wasn’t sure how to deal with this strange turn of events. But when Yuuri slipped a finger inside him, he didn’t know why he hadn’t ever considered it before.

Victor gasped and Yuuri stopped, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Victor said, “Is it all the way in?”

“Just halfway,” Yuuri said, sliding the finger in further. “Does it hurt?”

“No, not really, it feels good,” he said, smiling up at Yuuri. His soulmate was being so tender with him.

“How about two then?” Yuuri asked, pulling his finger out and pushing a second one inside. Victor couldn’t help his sharp intake of breath at the sensation, the tightness, and the pleasure that ran through his body. This time Yuuri didn’t stop, and the look on Victor’s face must have been enough to show him that he was enjoying what Yuuri was doing to him.

Yuuri pushed his fingers in all the way, then moved them, brushing Victor’s prostate, which made him cry out in pleasure and excitement. Victor looked up at Yuuri, who smiled deviously. “You did that on purpose.”

“Of course,” he said. “If only you could see what I’m seeing.” Yuuri leaned down and kissed Victor again, working his fingers in and out, first slowly, then faster as Victor began to lose control of his breathing, began to lose control of everything. He’d already been so close from Yuuri’s surprisingly expert blow job. Now he was going to come just from Yuuri’s fingers inside of him and he didn’t want to tell Yuuri to stop. He was incapable of telling him to stop. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on breathing, but Yuuri’s fingers were coming in and out and every brush of his prostate had him coming closer to completion until his vision filled with white and his entire body felt an intense wave of pleasure. His body spasmed uncontrollably until Yuuri made a happy noise and pulled his fingers out. Victor closed his eyes and panted, feeling the wetness of the orgasm on his stomach and chest.

“I was wondering why you were starting to clench,” he said, straddling Victor as he wiped at his stomach and chest, then his hand with one of the discarded bathrobes. He moved a hand to Victor’s cock, sensitive from the orgasm, and Victor squirmed, the sensation too intense for him to handle.

“Wait, just wait a second,” he said, trying to stop Yuuri’s hand, but he was still in the afterglow of the orgasm and ended up just flailing uselessly.

Yuuri kissed him again, then worked his way back down to his nipples, biting at them hard enough to make Victor cry out in pain, then moving down to his cock again, reminiscent of his earlier descent. “Don’t,” Victor pleaded.

“This is more fun than I thought it’d be,” Yuuri laughed, wrapping his lips around Victor’s cock, filling Victor with the overwhelming sensation of wanting to kick Yuuri and scream in pleasure at the same time. He wanted to pull away, but Yuuri held onto his hips tightly and he had nowhere to go. When Yuuri stopped, Victor felt like he might have been blinded from the experience.

“You—can’t—possibly—be a—virgin,” he panted as Yuuri came back in for another kiss, his mouth salty from Victor’s semen. It didn’t gross him out as much as he thought it would. There was no way Yuuri could be this good at pleasuring him on his first time. He didn’t even want to think about how fumbly he’d been his own first time.

“Not for much longer,” Yuuri laughed, as he moved himself back on top of Victor. “You’re already hard again.”

Three months of no sex had made him more than a little eager. “I blame you,” Victor said. “You’re just too damn sexy.” He relished in the blush he got before Yuuri was back over him, kissing him, the tip his cock pressed against his entrance, hesitant.

Victor took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and did his best to relax, but Yuuri had paused. “What’s wrong?” He asked, cracking an eye open.

“I—I’m not sure. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t. Just go slowly,” Victor said, giving him a reassuring smile.

“I’m sorry, Victor, I don’t know if I can,” he said, his voice filled with panic, his eyes watering. Victor hadn’t seen this happen to Yuuri before, but he knew it might happen. He’d been warned. Yuri was letting his anxiety take over, fill him with doubt and worry. Was he about to have a panic attack?

Victor pulled him close, letting him fall to his side as tears slid down his cheeks. He cuddled with him and kissed the wetness from his face. “Maybe I can help?” He asked, an idea forming in his head.

Yuuri gave him a defeated look and nodded, sniffing.

“Don’t worry, I think you’ll like it.” Victor said, rolling Yuuri to his back and climbing on top of him. He picked up the tube of lube and Yuuri winced. “Trust me, I wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want me to do.”

He squirted the lube onto his fingers and reached down, rubbing Yuuri’s cock until it was slick. Then he slid two of his own slick fingers inside himself, making sure everything was properly slippery, doing his best to relax as he relished in the pleasure of the sensations he was feeling. It wasn’t as good as when Yuuri had done it, but damn, why hadn’t he thought to play with his own ass sooner? He looked down at Yuuri, who had stopped crying and was watching him, his eyes wide with fascination. Victor gave him a reassuring smile before maneuvering himself so that he could take in Yuuri’s cock.

“Victor…” Yuuri said, looking concerned.

He winked at Yuuri and began to move down along his shaft, letting Yuuri fill him up. Yuuri let out a little gasp and Victor felt him begin to thrust. “Not too fast,” Victor said, wincing.

“Sorry!” Yuuri said, “I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s okay, I just need to get used to it,” he said, moving further down, letting more of Yuuri inside of him. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, as long as he went slowly, as long as he didn’t clench or make any sudden movements. He looked down at Yuuri, who was still flushed, but it seemed more like excitement now than embarrassment.

“Oh,” Victor said, feeling Yuuri hit his prostate. It felt so _good_. And he realized he’d reached the end. Yuuri was all the way inside of him. There was nowhere else to go.

“How does it feel?” Yuuri asked.

Victor didn’t quite know how to describe it. “It feels better than I could have ever imagined.” He moved again, this time pulling himself away from Yuuri, reveling in the feeling of the release of tightness, the feeling of Yuuri moving against his insides. He pulled all the way out and Yuuri let out a little gasp. “Do you think you’re ready to do it now?”

Yuuri gave a hesitant nod and they switched positions, Yuuri on top again.

“Just go slow,” Victor said.

This time there was no hesitation. Yuuri knew what to do, Victor could see the conviction in his eyes, and with Victor’s legs spread, Yuuri entered him and kissed him at the same time, plunging his tongue into Victor’s mouth at the same time as his cock entered Victor, faster than he was expecting. Victor half-moaned into Yuuri’s mouth as the twinge of pain and overwhelming sense of pleasure overcame him.

“Sorry, but I don’t think I can go slow,” Yuuri said, and Victor felt a sharp pain as Yuuri bit his ear. He kept going, gaining speed until Victor felt like he might die from the pleasure, every time Yuuri pushed all the way in, he hit Victor’s prostate, the pleasure building as Yuuri kept fucking him, harder, faster, both of their breathing becoming more intense as Victor neared completion yet again. He could feel the orgasm building, white-hot inside him. Yuuri fucked him until Victor thought he wouldn’t be able to hold it in anymore, then Yuuri came inside of him, his moan of ecstasy nearly a shout, and it was enough to send Victor over the edge, coming for a second time, his pleasure pouring out of the head of his cock, once more all over his stomach and chest. He bucked and moaned, clenching around Yuuri’s cock, which caused him to jerk and pull out.

He grinned at Victor before collapsing beside him, both of them sweaty and out of the breath. They looked at each other in the afterglow of their orgasms and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaah I hope y'all didn't think it was horrible! *cowers in the corner*
> 
> One more chapter! It's gonna be pretty much all fluff and wrap up!


	11. Chapter 11

“So?” Victor asked as he and Yuuri held each other, laying beside each other in his bed. Holding Yuuri in his arms felt so warm and solid. He didn’t want to relax one bit, didn’t want to let go of Yuuri, didn’t want to leave embrace of the bed. He didn’t care about anything else but his soulmate as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

“So what?” Yuuri asked, his voice still just as shy as ever. Victor couldn’t get enough of it. It was so cute.

“Do you forgive me yet?” He didn’t want to ask, but he just had to know. It was nagging him.

Yuuri chuckled, “I could never hold anything against you for long, Victor. You should know that.”

He shook his head, still unsure, “Yes, but—“

“You’re _forgiven_ , just let it drop,” he said, giving Victor a kiss. Victor felt himself growing aroused again. He didn’t think he would ever get used to Yuuri’s kisses, to his touch, to his presence. He didn’t think he would ever want to get used to it.

After their first round of sex and a quick rest, they went again, that time even better than the first, now that Yuuri knew what he was doing. After recovering, they’d cleaned up and gone downstairs for dinner. It had become quickly apparently that,, somehow, _everyone_ knew what had just happened. While Yuuri had been embarrassed beyond words, Victor chose to unabashedly own it.

“I’m so happy for you two!” Yuuri’s mom all but squealed. Yuuri’s dad just smiled and poured sake for everyone. Mari gave both of them a smirk and shared a knowing look with her own soulmate.

They all had katsudon, even though Victor kept joking that Yuuri would have to run extra in the morning to work off the calories. Victor had some alternative ideas for how Yuuri could work it off, but he would save those for later.

Now they were back up in his room. Victor was too sore to go again, but but too excited to fall asleep. And his body didn’t care that he was sore when it came to his arousal.

“God, you’re so hot,” Victor said, brushing Yuuri’s hair away from his eyes. “Almost too hot.”

Yuuri blushed, “No, that’s you. You’re the hot one.”

Victor snorted. “Bullshit. Ever since I met you, something told me that I needed to be with you,” he blurted out.

“When you saw the video of me skating? Or here at the onsen?”

Victor shook his head, “No, silly. At the Grand Prix Finals banquet last year.”

Yuuri gave Victor a confused look and shook his head, “I was too scared to talk to you at the banquet. You know how shy I am.”

“Wait,” it was Victor’s turn to be shocked, “You don’t remember?”

Yuuri paused and thought for a second, “I don’t remember much about that night, now that you mention it.”

“I can’t believe it,” he laughed, feeling relieved and stupid at the same time. All this time he’d thought Yuuri was just embarrassed about what had happened, that he didn’t want to talk about it. No wonder he hadn’t responded to Victor’s subtle jabs and references. “Hold on.” He rolled over and grabbed his phone, then unlocked it to pull up his photos. He scrolled a bit then handed the phone to Yuuri. He watched his soulmate peruse the photos, his face growing more and more flushed the further into the night he went.

“We danced together?” He asked, his eyes wide. He looked like he might start crying.

“We did. This is what made me fall in love with you, even if I didn’t know it yet. You asked me to be your coach. I—I felt such a connection to you, and it confused me so much at the time. I should have known that we were destined to be together.” Victor said, plucking the phone from his hands and pulling him up, out of the bed, both of them getting to their feet, Victor still holding his soulmate in his arms, warm and solid. “None of that matters anymore, though. I’ve been waiting all this time to dance with you again. I thought, maybe you were just embarrassed or something. I never thought that you didn’t remember. Now that I know the truth, I’m going to have that dance now.”

Victor led him as they danced around the room, slowly, gracefully, the sake from dinner giving both of them a boost of confidence that only alcohol could provide. Yuuri’s eyes filled with tears as Victor kissed them away.

“I’ve loved you for most of my life,” Yuuri said as they danced. Victor was surprised that Yuuri wasn’t stumbling over his feet. He usually wasn’t this graceful when Victor was touching him, but they were both dancing to the same song, something that played between them as they held each other, silent and beautiful and synced with their heartbeats, matched up with their feet and their breath.

“I know,” Victor said as he kissed Yuuri, the silent song ending, then he twirled him and pulled him close. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it. I’m sorry I didn’t know sooner.”

“We’ve done this in our Dreams, haven’t we?”

Victor nodded. Many times, which is why it felt so natural in real life. He pulled Yuuri back to bed and pulled him close. “Is it my turn to be the top?”

Yuuri looked apprehensive, “Will it hurt?”

“A little bit, but I’ll go slow. I want to be inside you,” he said as he pulled off his clothes, then slowly disrobed Yuuri, reveling in the way Yuuri’s body responded to his touch. Yuuri was thirsty for his hands, he could feel it. He wasted no time pulling Yuuri’s hard cock into his mouth, the end of it already wet with precum. He sucked and felt Yuuri’s entire body contract with pleasure as he wrapped his hands around Yuuri’s ass, holding him in place, sucking harder, pulling him all the way inside, pleasuring Yuuri with his mouth and his tongue as Yuuri moaned with pleasure. He gazed up at Yuuri as he sucked and saw the younger man gazing down at him, his face flushed, his mouth parted, on the brink of orgasm. He should have been expecting it, but it still surprised him when Yuuri came in his mouth with a cry. He released Yuuri’s cock quickly, swallowing some of the salty liquid, some of it hitting his face, hot and gooey on his skin.

“I’m so sorry,” Yuuri said, reaching for the tissue box by the bed and pulling some out, cleaning up Victor’s face, apologizing again and again. Victor smiled and kissed his soulmate, pressing him back into the sheets, groping for the lube on the bedside table. He opened the cap, his mouth not leaving Yuuri’s as he squeezed some of the lube onto his fingers, finding Yuuri’s entrance and sliding one inside without hesitation.

Yuuri gasped into his mouth, his body tightening around his finger.

“You’ll have to loosen up a bit if you want to fit me inside you,” Victor whispered against his lips, plunging his tongue into Yuuri’s mouth.

“Sorry,” he panted as they came up for air, relaxing slightly around Victor’s finger, “It’s just…I wasn’t expecting it to feel so good.”

“It’s going to feel a lot better in a minute,” Victor said, sliding the finger in and out, then adding more lube before inserting a second. Yuuri’s ass was so tight and he was afraid he was going to hurt him, but Yuuri seemed to enjoy it even more than one finger, if the expression on his face and the sounds coming out of his mouth were anything to go by.

“How does it feel?” He asked, sliding his fingers in and out, reveling in Yuuri’s reactions.

“I think I’m ready,” he panted, the look on his face making Victor want to fuck him until he begged for mercy.

Victor pulled his fingers out and added more lube, pushing himself against Yuuri’s entrance. “I’ll go slow,” he said.

Yuuri nodded as Victor slid himself inside, slowly, waiting for Yuuri to show any sign of pain, to make any expression other than one of pleasure, but Yuuri enjoyed it more than he could have expected, taking Victor in, almost pulling him in further until he was all the way inside, feeling Yuuri’s tightness wrapped around his cock. He looked down at Yuuri and felt Yuuri tighten around him, enough to almost make him come right then and there. No, he had to last at least a little bit. He pulled out a little, Yuuri squirming in pleasure, then thrust himself back in, his soulmate crying out in pleasure. He did it again, moving faster this time, kissing Yuuri as he did, fucking him until he couldn’t hold it any more, coming with a ragged moan, panting as he pulled out, watching the fluid leak out of Yuuri. He’d done that. He felt more satisfied than he thought he should. Yuuri had also come again at some point, his chest sticky and wet. Victor had been too caught up in his own orgasm to notice. He collapsed next to Yuuri, exhausted.

* * * * *

Yuuri looked up over his glasses at Victor, then back down to his phone, “Well, the triplets were right,” he said, “The skating otaku are eating this up.”

“It’s been a big week for the skating blogs,” Victor laughed, curling up on their Barcelona hotel bed, looking way cuter than a human had any right to look.

“I still can’t believe Anna did that. After asking us to wait for her to find her soulmate before we announce anything, after making us keep our relationship a secret for so many months, she pulls this? She knew we’d planned to announce our engagement and she leaked hers the day before ours went live?” Yuuri sighed and flopped down on the bed next to Victor.

“Don’t worry about it too much. Get used to it. Just because I’m not engaged to her anymore doesn’t mean she’s out of our lives. And she loooooves to do petty shit like this,” he said, giggling as he clasped Yuuri’s hand, matching gold rings glinting in the warm lamplight. Yuuri still couldn’t believe they were _engaged_. And the whole world knew it now.

“I guess I just thought she would be over it since she found her soulmate too. We’re all happy now, right? So why the rivalry?”

“Because it’s fun. To her, at least. Anyway, she didn’t steal our thunder too much, from the looks of things on social media. But don’t worry about it, okay? Tomorrow is what you need to be focusing on.”

“I know,” Yuuri said, trying not to let his anxiety creep up too far into his chest, trying not to let it strangle his heart and make it hard for him to breathe. That’s what it usually did. The free skate felt like it was looming over him. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about the Grand Prix Finals at all. He just wanted to lay on that bed in the hotel room and do naughty things with his soulmate until he couldn’t stay awake anymore.

Victor rolled over and kissed him, his mouth hot and insistent. Victor seemed to have the same idea he did. “When you win the gold tomorrow,” Victor said, pulling Yuuri’s shirt up and kissing his chest, teeth playfully nibbling at one of his nipples, then the other, both of them growing instantly hard under his attention. “I’m going to reward you with the best sex of your life.”

“Oh? Is tonight a preview, then?” Yuuri laughed, trying not to look too eager. It was _really_ hard.

“You could call it that,” Victor growled as he pushed Yuuri back into the sheets, smothering him in kisses.

Yuuri pulled Victor’s mouth up to his own and kissed him tenderly, giving him a smile that he hoped expressed everything that he felt for his soulmate, all the love and happiness he felt having Victor by his side, the promise of forever between them. He looked into Victor’s blue eyes and knew, without having to say anything, without having to hear Victor say it, that his soulmate felt the same.

* * * * *

In his Dream, Yuuri was flying. No, he was dancing, no not dancing, _pair skating_ with Victor on the ice and Victor was holding up. He was flying through the air as they skated. The music was the same song they’d danced to in Victor’s room, but this time it was audible. It was only ever audible in their Dreams.

Victor was holding him tightly as they skated, dancing around each other on the ice, holding each other up, supporting each other, golden engagement rings glimmering in the spotlight. There was no audience, there was no one else, just the two of them, spinning, jumping, dancing, soaring. Yuuri had never been happier in his life. It didn’t matter if he won any gold medals. He’d won the most important thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end! Thank you for reading this fic. It took way longer to finish than I'd planned, but I'm glad I did it. I really enjoyed writing it and learned a lot in the process. This last chapter was so late due to vacation and illness. Yay!
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoyed it. Your comments really mean a lot to me and help boost my confidence as a writer. Now back to the novel I've been putting off! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I've read several soulmates AUs and wanted to try my own twist on the idea. I hope y'all like it! Let me know what you think!


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